A Tank Full

I know the best place for gas! It’s really nice stuff. It smells just like the gasoline from other stations , it runs just like the gasoline from other stations, they even have a mini mart and an air and water area, just like the other stations. They only difference is they sell their gasoline for twice as much!

I honestly don’t know anyone who buys the high octane gas. It’s possible I don’t know anyone with a car nice enough to need it. What I do know is that when I passed the gasoline station and saw that I could get a tank of gas for $2.55 a gallon, I cut off a little old man, mowed down a biker, and used the other customer’s car for a stopper.

Gasoline in my state is the highest in the nation. It seems us California’s will vote for anything if you put it on a ballot. We voted in higher refining requirements a few years ago and now we all grumble at having to fork out forty bucks for a fill up. As such I will drive across town to save ten cents a gallon. I know it doesn't make sense, but I don’t want to give my money to the places that over charge for their "technologically enhanced" gas.

“Your car will feel better!”

“But I won’t!”

“Your car will last you longer.”

“Only because it will sitting in my driveway on empty, due to the fact that I cannot afford to put your gas in its tank!”

What do I care how much Techron I have in my gasoline? I have never seen an increase in my mileage whether I have a tank full of Techron, V-Power, or a “Tiger in my Tank!” Just tell your marketing department to stop trying to convince me that a cartoon car knows what’s best for me! I want the cheap stuff Bub!

One thing I have noticed is that the price of gasoline directly affects the speed of pumping it out. Whenever I’ve found myself at a premium station the pump is just like.

“Hey don’t look at the meter! We’ll just be cramming in our gas and you’ll owe us seventy-two fifty in under fifteen seconds! Have a nice day sucker!”

Where as with a cheap pump it’s like having a conversation with a turtle.

“Hey… Look… at… all… the… money… your… saving. One… gallon, one… and… a… half…”

This means that there will always be longer lines at the cheaper stations.

I always feel like a vulture at the gas station, trying to figure out the best way to slide my car up to the pump. People do the strangest things to get gas ahead of other drivers. For instance, taking spots even if they know their tank is on the wrong side. Have you ever see the guy trying to pull the pump over the car? Generally this is a bad idea. Then of course you have the gasper! Even though we’ve all seen these prices for the last two years, this fellow thinks we all care how much he paid.

"What!" Mister loud mouth bellows, "FORTY SEVEN FIFTY!"

We know, we know. We’re all in this together friend.

17 comments:

J Crew said...

I'm all about Rotten Robbie's and I miss his cousin, Bad Benita

Windy City Survivors said...

You know gas prices have been WAY too high when you get excited because they are lower then $2.50!!! We have a huge van (30+ gallons) so the $1/gallon we are saving is a huge difference. $75 vs. $100 to fill up. No wonder I never drive anywhere! :)

kludge said...

Somedays I feel very foolish that I didn't invest some money in the oil industry a few years ago. I'd be grining instead of grumbling, every time I had to pay over three dollars a gallon.

SJ said...

I am with Windy City - You know it is bad when we are excited about lower than $2.75 - - - - crazy!

Roberta said...

You people down south grumble too much! It hasn't dipped below $2.80 up here in a year or more!

kludge said...

Roberta-
One more reason to walk or ride your bike. I think San Francisco is still over 3.00 a gallon.

It's just hard, 'cause I rememeber .99 cents a gallon.

Ando said...

When the price was still going up I loved reading the headlines that said, "Gas hits $2.50 a gallon" when I'd been paying $2.50 for months.

SJ said...

I know Kludge - I can remember the 99 cent gas too! Sad deal!

Heavy G said...

I bought gas today for 1.99!!!!

SJ said...

Amazing - I am jealous - one of the joys of the midwest!!!!!!

Ando said...

Quiet nerd!

(That's for Heavy G, not SJ.)

kludge said...

$1.99 a gallon, seems unreal.

I'm going to start working on a new fuel souce. a car propelled by road rage. I think that's always readily avaliable

dinane said...

You may now state that you do know of a person who uses higher octane fuel. I am the sucker who puts the 91 or 93 or 95 (if the other two aren't available) in my car. I drive a VW Jetta with the turbo. Her name is Haley.

Don't get me wrong, I love my car. She gets pretty good gas mileage, too. Just that she has expensive tastes.

(Don't tell Haley, but I'm probably going to replace her next year...)

Brian said...

In the great country of canada gas is around $.95 a liter...it takes 4 liters per gallon, you do the math.

kludge said...

Brian- that's outrageous!! The fact that you can convert metric to US to easily, not the ridiculous price per liter/gallon.

And yet another reason to love living in the US

kludge said...

Dinane - Poor Haley. Give her the good stuff while she can get it, hopefully her next owner will be equally empathetic!

I love the idea of naming cars.

I used to have a car named Scott, but unlike Haley, he wasn't well liked. I always spit out his name with fire and hate!

Megan C. said...

I also own a "high-octane" car. We bought our car at the used car lot and when we get her home, Phil tells me the next week that we can only put the MOST EXPENSIVE type gas in it! I was a little miffed because I didn't realize this ahead of time. Even the mechanic who tuned up our car said we needed to use high octane. Life goes on I guess.