Reading SPAM

Well...this honestly looks a bit interesting.

20 Things Learned As Sys-Admin Repost

  • “Nothing’s wrong with the system” is always the first line of defense.

  • The longer you do this the less intelligent that users seem.

  • It always works on my computer.

  • I’d explain how I fixed it but you wouldn’t understand, so I just say “SYS-ADMIN USE STRONG MAGIC!”

  • Trust me, you’re doing it wrong.

  • <work> </joy> If you get it. It’s funny.

  • I’m not reading your email for fun; I’m checking the servers load.

  • Overhead lights wash out the monitor.

  • Walls are for your protection, indoors is where it’s safe.

  • I send Bill Gates a Christmas card every year. Poor code pays my mortgage.

  • Backups are never corrupted unless the data might actually be needed.

  • GUI’s are for the helpdesk and babies.

  • Windows? Reboot.

  • Declining social skills are part of the job.

  • Never trust a tan Systems Administrator

  • Coffee, Coffee, Coffee. This cannot be overstated.

  • The less rights users have, the better for everyone.

  • Managers should never be allowed to touch systems. This is just borrowing trouble.

  • Calling tech support means admitting you are fallible. Avoid this at all costs.

  • The answer is “No, I didn’t change anything” even if you have to lie through your teeth to say it.
  • Artificial Intelligence

    To me the stumbling of artificial intelligence is as simple as syntax. It's a question of understanding. If you don't know what I mean, how can we communicate? I will always be a septic of computer intelligence, until this question of syntax is address.

    When it comes to computer input, syntax is everything. If the statement isn't exactly what the blasted machine machine needs to hear, there's no way in the the world you're going to get your task completed. Somedays I feel like I just don't have the patience for it.

    An easy to grasp example for the non-geeks:

    Me: copy file from a to b

    **Error, 'file' not known***

    Me: copy file.txt from here to there

    ***Error 'file.txt' not known***

    Me: copy c:\data\file.txt from here to there

    ***Error 'here' not known***

    Me: CopY c:\data\file.txt FROm 'This LONELY place were we currently exist BECAUSE YOU WON'T COPY THE STUPID BLASTED DATA FILE' to there

    ***Error 'exist' not known***

    Me: NO DOUBT!

    So... do do you understand? If not please leave me a man file for your required syntax. I'd love to interact with you properly...

    Me: (loading gun)


    "No problem sir, it could happen to anyone. Have a nice day." *click* "Idiot!"

    Taking A Break

    Anyone seen my straight jacket?

    20 Stupid Ways To Lose Your Keys

  • Baking them in a pie. (Lasagna, Casserole, Etc)

  • Putting them in the Salvation Army bucket with your spare change

  • Letting your toddler pay with them

  • Throwing them away with your empty coffee cup

  • Walking away leaving them sitting in plain sight on the bank counter top

  • Returning them to a department store with your other exchanges

  • Accidentally dropping them public porta potty (buy a new car. It's not worth it)

  • Having them eaten along with your hand by an angry crocodile (tiger, hippo, polar bear, whatever)

  • Dropping them on a sandy beach (you'll never see them again. I promise)

  • Dropping them into the sewer grate right outside your house (done this one)

  • Flushing them down your own toilet

  • Sealing them up in a computer case (Engine block, patients stomach, etc)

  • Dropping them under the seat in a movie theater (or similar black hole like the clothes dryer)

  • Giving them away in the pocket of donated clothes

  • Dropping them in the ocean (bay, river or killer whale pool at Sea World)

  • Leaving them on the seat of the taxi cab in Australia that dropped you off at the airport

  • Going for a walk with them in your pocket and arriving back home without them

  • Giving them in a rolled up newspaper to Mr. Henry Potter

  • In the garbage disposer (technically, though, you'll still have them)

  • leaving them in the door of your house at night and not finding them in the morning

  • Letting your wife or girlfriend keep them safe for you
  • Influence Me!

    Gentle Reader;

    Now that man week has concluded. I'm sure that there are unhappy folks. Oh well. It was a hoot!

    So now I'm looking for some ideas. If there is something you've been longing to see here, save sanity, now is your chance. Let me know. Request a 20 things, ask a question for a geek perspective or simply insult me. Whatever. I'm not promising to post your ideas, but who knows what your comment might spark!

    Thanks for the help.

    Editor and Chief

    Man Week: Day 5

    Today marks the fifth day of Kludge Spots Man Week celebration! Lets take another look back at what we learned!

    Day One: Twenty ways men are superior to women
    Day Two: The in's and out's of the man card
    Day Three: A look at the men's room
    Day Four: Manly cooking & woman bash bonus post

    Man Week has generated several hundred hits here and we are proud that so many have been eager to seek the wisdom imparted on these few pages. Today I will not shrink down from the dames! My own wife put in a petition for the end of man week this morning. Not going to happen. Add to that last nights comment from Stephanie that, "Nothing in today's Man Week Post offended me." Well... that is just unacceptable!

    Today we will address the differences between men and woman drivers!

    Manly Driving Techniques
    As I always say, there are two types of drivers on the road; good drivers and women drivers. Men know what a car is for. Driving. Listening to the radio or stereo is also acceptable. We are aware of road signs, other vehicles and pedestrians. Women get in a car and shut off all reason and responsibility. They do crazy things like turn around and talk to the kids, chat up their friends in the passengers seats and talk on the phone. They are completely oblivious to other drivers, posted road signs and those bothersome gears and indicators.

    Women drive poorly. Men drive with purpose. When a man gets in a car he intends to drive. When a woman gets in a car she is completely oblivious to her responsibility on the road.

    To a man a yield sign means he needs to get into traffic as quickly as possible, even if that means squeezing tightly between the Honda and BMW.

    To a woman a yield sign means she just keeps rolling forward until she stops traffic enough to let her in.

    4 Way Stop
    To a man a 4 way stop is a simple maneuver. Whoever arrives first goes first. If you both arrive the driver in the vehicle to the right goes first. This means that a man will take his turn no matter what. Even if the other driver tries to go out of sequence. Accidents are just another way for a man to prove he had the right of way.

    A woman in contrast, rolls up drinking her low-fat double sweet latte chatting on her mobile phone while sporting her designer sunglasses and has zero clue who was there first. She will then do one of two things. Go when it isn't her turn and collide with another driver. Otherwise She will wait until someone starts honking and waving their arms at her. To a woman this is normal and not in the least stressful. She'll take a sip of latte, all while keeping up the conversation with her friend. As far as she's concerned this is in the drivers handbook.

    Speed Limits
    A man understand that a speed limit is the suggested minimum. No one is allowed to drive less that 45 miles an hour, but driving over 45 is expected. Especially on the freeway. The cops are there to add a bit of extra enjoyment to the driving experience. The only goal on freeway driving is to pass as many cars as possible before your off ramp.

    If you ask a woman what the speed limit is, she will not know. They don't have time for reading traffic signs while on the look out for cute shoe stores or 1/2 sales. A woman's main job is to be an obstruction and hazard to the rest of drivers in the road. Freeways are for driving 45 in the fast lane, or a great steady road for applying makeup on.

    Parallel Parking.
    To a man this is yet another example of an opportunity to display his overt manliness. A well executed parallel park should be done in two simple turns and is the piece de resistance of the men parking regiment. Anything longer than a 5 -10 second parking move should be looked on as a failure and will count as a deficit from his man card.

    To a woman a parallel parking job should take under 1 hour. It is a 45 point maneuver that gives no regard to the line of honking cars in her makeup mirror. It matters not if she is on the sidewalk or in the middle of the road. It is completed only after making contact with the other parked cars bumpers 17 times.

    Overall a man does stupid things behind the wheel of his car with purpose. He knows when he's breaking the law, running a stop light, tailgating or cutting off other drivers. He is communicating with the other drivers through his automobile. Therefore a male driver can sometimes be called a jerk, but never a bad driver.

    A woman is unaware of the road, the fact that the cars parking break has been on for five miles or what to do at a 2 way intersection. (Turn yields to the straightway ladies). She is communicating inside her automobile and is unaffected by other cars. Every mistake is unknown and therefore without purpose or understanding. She is a bad driver.

    I leave you with a couple video to further drive home the point.

    Women the worst drivers?

    The Female Parks!

    Man Week: Girl Bash Bonus Post

    Poking a little fun at the girls. Hope you all can take it ladies. If not, ask us if we care?

    Woman Wishing Well

    Female Mouse/Compact

    Tracy Is Wrong

    Female Parking Spaces

    Woman's Keyboard (Worth a closer look!)

    Ladies Tool Kit

    Proof Women Are Evil

    Woman Car Shopping

    His and Hers Garage

    Ladies Umbrella Shoes

    Woman Speedometer


    Man Week, Day 4

    It's now day four here on KludgeSpot in this near historic thread known as Man Week. I don't think I've overstating it. Over the past three days we've dealt with difficult topics. Topics like being proud of what you are, what a man card is and how to accumulate points and of course how a men's room actually works. Over the past three days I have offended my wife, one of my friends and it appears yesterday caused a domestic odor in the homes of others. What a week! As my wife said to me last night.

    "What's wrong you."
    "Nothing. We're all like this."

    She said this to me right after we had this conversation

    "I didn't finish your stupid post today."
    "Why not?"
    "I didn't want to see any more videos of men peeing."
    "Offended by our innate efficiently?"

    Regardless we will not be discussing any more restroom activity. In fact up until last night I wasn't positive what I was going to talk about today. But last night I was charged with cooking dinner. Well. The important part anyway. The meat. While my bride laboured about on her charge of getting the kids ready for bed I put fire to grill and rekindled and historic union that harkens back to when mastodons ruled the landscape and take out wouldn't be invented for over 20,000 years or so.

    Cooking Like A Man

    Men love fire. I've yet to meet the exception to this rule. Even men who might not be particularly skilled in the art of grilling still like to poke a fire with a stick. There is something inherently manly about it. It's like sticking your face in a lions mouth. People do it and live, but you know it's dangerous. I mean it's a freaking lion! If you lost control you could lose your head. Grilling, BBQ and smoking is the same thing. It's like juggling knives or driving fast in the rain. It's fun to tame fire into your personal servant.

    Lets do a quick review

    Can men be bakers?! Absolutely? Is it manly? Hardly! You have to really store up points in other areas to get away with rolling out fondant and making pretty flowers out of frosting. If any aspect of your job involves butter cream how can you possibly even argue the point with me?

    What about cooking? Is it inherently manly? While it has many aspects that can be man like, I would be hard pressed to call it manly. Sure you get to play with knives and the occasional flame, but you also have to know your herbs from your spices how to cook souffl├ęs and the best recipe for quiche. Even with a temper like Ramsay's you still aren't really a proper man.

    Now... What about grilling?
    Here is a picture of an anonymous man. A random photo of a guy cooking stuff on the grill. Can there really be any doubt that this is the man's way to cook? Look, Is there any measuring? A pinch of thyme or teaspoon of saffron? No! In fact we take sauce and just dump it on the meat! Sometimes we use a mop to smear it around or other times just rub it in with your hands!

    If a fire like this broke loose in the bakery or the kitchen, both of the previous two "men" would be in a panic. Not this guy. He's smiling because he knows that the food will still taste great! Just douse the fire or close the top and let the food enjoy a little smoking time! This is real cooking!

    Then once the food is sufficiently done you grab one of your giant metal manly utensils flip it, grab it or stab it! When is the last time you saw a baker get to wield a fork the size of a man's forearm? Never. He's too busy making chocolate bows.

    So there you have it, a manly way to get your grub on. BBQ, smoking or grilling! The last bastion of manly cooking left to us. A grill, a brew and a fire. "Don't hassle me woman, I'm making dinner here!" A throwback to the days of sabre-toothed tiger underwear and men who learned that dead things tasted better once blackened on the open flame!

    I'm also celebrating Man Week @ Fusion Ring

    Man Week, Day 3

    Happy St. Patrick's Day! You'll notice that Kludge Spot is sporting the green icon of the emerald isle and is ready to celebrate. I've lined up a slew of stout for everyone. Even the ladies.

    It is now mid span in our controversial Man Week here at KludgeSpot. In the last two days we've discussed the reason why men are superior to woman and what a Man Card is, including how it can be lost. I'm on shaky domestic grounds and one of my friends is ready to off me for comments about convertibles yesterday. All in all a successful two days! Today is no different. Today great knowledge awaits us!

    St. Patty's day is fabulous holiday. A celebration of a Catholic saint who brought Christianity to Ireland and supposedly vanquished all the snakes from her shores. And that was only two of his miracles! Now over 1500 years later, how is he remembered? By wearing green, eating beef and drinking beer. Hello! I'm in! What a perfect mid week holiday for our man week.

    Invariably during your red letter revelry you might find yourself in a public place with the need to relieve yourself. It happens if you are drinking porter or drowning yourself in root beer. Sooner or later you're going to have to let it all out.

    Mens Restroom Rules

    Now unlike the women's restroom a men's room is a bastion of efficiently and perfection that only a man can appreciate. There are no couches, pictures or full length mirrors, but we are quite proud of what we do have. A car race style pit stop. In and out in record time. While the girls will spend hours waiting for a place on the pot, men are in an out before you know it. This isn't because of some cosmic injustice as the broads will tell you. No it's because in a men's room there are rules. A unwritten contract that all males are aware of. Those of you who are not, will soon be enlightened.

    Below are a few video primers for you. The one is interesting, though a bit more liberal in it's allowance for chatter. Still a solid glimpse at proper bloke behaviour.

    A simple, easy to follow how-to. Pay attention!

    My favorite of the three. I believe the author and I agree whole hearty on what is proper restroom behaviour. Though at around 4:30 the video goes off the deep end of a pretty ridiculous cliff. Still he makes a good point in the end. If you can handle the silliness, I would recommend finishing it. Besides how often does the phrase "butt pudding" really come up in your day to day context?

    Now a test to see how you did!

    The Urinal Game

    Be sure to post a comment with your score!

    I'm also celebrating Man Week @ Fusion Ring

    Man Week, Day 2

    The Man Card Exhibit A:

    Man Card Image Credit

    Being a man is not a right, it's a privilege. As a bona fide man I am in possession of a man card. This man card can be revoked at any time if there is even one other man present. The process is pretty simple. It would have to be or men wouldn't do it.

    Being manly adds points to you man card. For instance, using power tools to demolition your house, or building anything that, through assembly, puts band-aids on your person. That something doesn't need to be pretty, in fact if it's too pretty you might just find yourself in a bit of a points decline. Any time you wield open fire your man card is tallying up points. Any time you are caught watching Martha Steward or bedazzling your t-shirt you are in a major crash.

    Lets do a little test, shall we?

    Speed Stick Deodorant?
    Man card secure. You're not scoring wild points, but you are certainly a man. Anything with Stick in it's name is clearly not marketed for the chicks.

    Coco Chanel Deodorant?
    Whoa there princess! You are on shaky ground. We all want to smell nice, but at what cost? This is close to a revoke of your precious card.

    Laundry Time?
    Whoever conceived this, whether real or photoshopped, gains serious man card credits!

    Mazda Miata?
    Trick question. All convertibles are off limits to men. You cannot, I repeat CANNOT be a man in a cabriolet. I am unable to think of an exception to this rule.

    Some losing of points is inevitable. Take me for example. I have gel in my hair and own a number of musicals. Down points! Luckily for me I drive a dirty pickup truck. Up points! For fun, I pass wood over a 40 tooth carbide tipped saw blade and have sawdust on my person at any point during the day. Up points! Additionally I own a slew of action titles including all the Bourne movies. So at the end of the day I'm in the plus category.

    So... Lets review:

    I'm also celebrating Man Week @ Fusion Ring

    Man Week, Day 1

    I'm officially declaring this week Man Week! It's your chance men to show that you still have a backbone and the ability to generate your own thoughts. If you are a man, it's okay you don't need to apologize for being you. You are what you are, a being created by thousands of years of outside conditioning and need. You don't have to be transformed into something else by those pesky creatures who are always nagging for reform. Right, women.

    Look dames, this isn't about you. Many of you are taken back. What? I know that comes as a huge shock as many of you believe the world revolves around your every feminine whim. This week is about men. What men are, what bugs us and what we put up with everyday in a very female influenced world.

    So, what does it mean to be a man? I'm not talking about the teenagers and college kids drinking their brains out and womanizing. This isn't boy week. It's man week.

    Over the last 100 years men have been made to feel that they are inherently wrong. Just for being able to pee while standing on the side of the road. I think we have suffrage to blame! Giving the broads the vote has been the downfall of our own sex. Now we have to put ourselves down and pretend that we aren't what we are so that they feel better about their place in the world! What a load of crap. I'm not going to apologize for being male. I am what I am. Cope.

    At my office I open the door for men. Why? Because the chicks can't have it both ways. They either get mad at me for opening the door because, "They can do it themselves" or they get snippy that I didn't open for them. "Weren't you raised with any manners?" I've never had a man mad at me when I open the door for him. I know he can do it himself! He didn't think I thought he was inferior. And if I don't open it, he doesn't pitch a panty fit about manners.

    20 Things About Men

  • Men can not call one other for a week and no one will start a gossip chain that effectively cripples Ma Bell.

  • Men don't have to have 45 pairs of shoes.

  • Men can get ready to leave the house during a commercial break.

  • Men can gas in front of one another. Sometimes this becomes its own sport

  • Men can call each other idiots and none will have to apologize for it.

  • Men can put a nail through their finger, slap on a band-aid and keep working.

  • Men don't pay 50 bucks for a haircut.

  • Men know how to operate a BBQ effectively.

  • Men don't want an umbrella in their drinks.

  • Men respect the TV and don't chat it up during the program.

  • Men know what all the remote buttons are for.

  • No man would willing relinquish the remote.

  • Men can not talk for 30 minutes during a car trip and no one feels ignored.

  • Men can be in and out of the supermarket before the ladies finish applying their make-up in the parking lot.

  • Men don't want to 'share their feelings" with you. If necessary, you'll know what we are feeling soon enough.

  • Men don't eat walnut, cranberry & spinach salads for a treat.

  • Men can get together and have a good time without an itinerary.

  • Men don't need to have a 30 minute phone conversation to "catch up."

  • Men don't need a committee to make a simple decision.

  • Men can go to the restroom all by themselves.

  • If you're a girl and want to comment on man week, know that I don't promise to post it. And if I do, I might ridicule you. It's man week. Suck it up twinkie.

    I'm also celebrating Man Week @ Fusion Ring

    Kludge Proof

    Proof that I do live up to my name!

    I accidentally broke off the end of a security dongle. What is a dongle? A dongle is a piece of hardware that plugs into a computer and verifies that you did in fact purchase this five thousand dollar software package. Without this small piece of plastic and circuitry, nothing loads. It's important.

    The break occurred at 7:00 on Sunday night, after I had almost completed all my after hours work. One last thing to do. I was moving a 1U rack mounted server and didn't know it had a dongle. I set it down when I heard the crunch. I'd snapped the USB connector clean off. I was all alone and no replacement available. The software HAD to run by Monday morning. Not should. Had.

    So... I did what anyone would do. I panicked. I swore. I wept. Then I started thinking.

    I cannibalized anther USB cable in my office and removed all the metal tongs. I bent a fith piece around them all and wedged them into the PCB on the dongle. This whole process took about an hour or so. Had there been a soldering iron here I could have used that. I'm not a very practised solderer so I'm not sure if it would have been better or worse. All in all the Frankendongle was completed. It was shaky at best.

    So... I put it in the computer...and the LED powered on and the software loaded up!

    That little kludge stood in the gap for about 10 days until the replacement arrived.

    The Fray - You Found Me

    Some days this song just begs me to play it. I just feel it speaks to me.

    Random Typing The Fourth

    Yet Another Random Typing Post. I'm just going to let whatever thought pops into my head out for all the world to see. This is glimpse into my brain, or a warning not to read on. Whichever you prefer. Only spell check beyond this point.

    Yet Another Random Typing Post. Almost sounds like it should be an acronym for something. Yartp. Like the sound a turtle makes just before it realizes that you're planing on eating it. I wonder who ate the first turtle? Seems to me you'd have to be pretty hungry to look to something that ugly for food. I presume of course that they'd had chicken and beef at this point.

    "I'm not looking for something tasty. No, I was hoping for more slimy textures in my diet."

    Dieting sucks. Honest. There is not a single pastime that makes you think more of eating than not eating does. I never get the sort of crazy craving I get except when I'm dieting.

    "Well that salad was good. Maybe if I put some roasted turtle on there next time!"
    "Oh look here's one now!"

    What is a calorie? You can't touch it, but it can sure touch you.

    "What happened to your pants?!"
    "Calorie attack"

    I love mail. Even junk mail. Not SPAM but junk mail through the postal system. Like advertisements for vacations I can't afford, free wet wipe samples or coupons for pizza joints in my town. Stuff like that. It's nice to feel needed, even if it's just by some large faceless company entered out in Omaha. Why do so many junk mailers come from Omaha? Who knows.

    Never shake hands with a man in the restroom. Seriously. Don't even acknowledge another man exists in a public restroom. Some people are comfortable having long chats in the John. Those people are called women. Any man who does this looses serious points in my book. I'd rather rip my arms off and play croquet with them then have a long talk in the restroom. Can't you see the fear registering on my face?! Why are you still talking to me!

    Oh look. Work has arrived on my desk again. I feel tainted, yet oddly obliged to do something about it...

    The Wine Country

    It’s early March and rain has fallen in the wine country. In fact, we have been quite wet for the past several weeks. There is little doubt, that for the weeks to come, the hillsides will reflect the lush green that has been cultivated in the first quarter of the this new decade.

    The trees around town began their colorful symphony in late January with the blooming of the Crape Myrtles. Lush pinks, whites and violets sprung up all over the landscape. Yellow, pinks and purples abounded throughout February as others joined the chorus of color. Now March has arrived, so did a new tone to the symphony. Cherry blossoms are exploding everywhere like an Asian dreamland through the landscape

    By the end of March the vineyards will be a buzz with new growth. Busy laborers will be clearing dead growth from the grape vines and tying up Chardonnay, Zinfandel and Syrah in neat little rows as motorists zoom up and down the highway. The smell of grapes will soak up the air as the warm sun of April begins to beats down on Sonoma County. You can't walk in a downtown district without passing a wine related specialty store. Even those of us not sophisticated enough to enjoy wine no doubt has at least one vine inspired motif somewhere in our homes.

    Yet wine does not define us here, it only adds to our rich culture. Petaluma is a city where aging chicken coops stand alongside modern buildings in which high tech industries push the envelope of what we can do with information. Wrist wrestling, butter & eggs and telecom have all called Petaluma home at one time. In many ways they all still do. In a town that is consistently redefining itself, it also clings to its history and past. It is a testament to all of us that we can survive whatever comes our way.

    As fall descends on Sonoma I find my heart pulling me out on a winding cruise up the coast to the town of Bodega Bay. Is there a more moving experience than a day trip to a Sonoma coastline? Nothing like the sound of powerful waves crashing the rocks as otters and sea lions play in the bay. With your belly full of chowder you can stand on a high cliff-side and just feel how small you are in comparison. The wind in your face and salt in your lungs transports your mind to heaven. There is no more humbling view for me than this.

    I cherish many fond memories of winter romps through Sebastopol in search of the perfect Christmas tree, a fruit pie or just a detour for a gallon or four of sweet apple cider. It makes you feel like a kid again to see the many cars with evergreens tied to their roofs, parading through the colorful countryside. Can there be any place as gorgeous as Sonoma County California?

    The economy in California has hit on troubled times. In contrast the economy in Texas is growing. But then, if you move to Texas, you have one disadvantage. You don't live in Sonoma County. As one co-worker put it to me years ago, "I'd rather eat peanut butter sandwiches in paradise." I had to second his opinion.

    What a perfect place to call home.

    Stuck In My Head

    Sleeping With The Fishes

    I know a mobster. He lives in my house, and eats food that we supply him. In addition we maintain his environment and assure that everything is clean and in good order for our mobster. I know he's a mobster, because I've seen him take another life. He did this unashamedly as my wife and I looked on in horror. I imagine he's proud of it. It's hard to be sure on that point, because he can't tell us. Lefty is a fish.

    Above is the scene of the crime. The wife found herself a stellar deal on a huge fish tank. $100 bucks for a fifty-five gallon tank complete with stand and two whisper filters. For those not in the know, this is a phenomenal deal. It becomes even more phenomenal when you factor in the savings we managed when Patricia's father paid for it. I personally still do not understand how that happened, but I will say this. Never underestimate a daughters ability to get money from her dad. Having never been a daughter, I was unaware of this well know truth. As a father to two daughters I fear it in the future. Regardless.

    We have a tank and we stocked it with fish. We put it up on a cabinet I made in our hallway. We did this so we could relax while watching cute fish swim around a tank looking happy. We did not expect to be yelling at the tank and gasping with horror as Lefty, the innocent white Molly, murdered another fish right in front of us.

    We had three male Mollies and one female. Clearly a mistake. By some strange twist of fate one male Molly just disappeared one day. I thought little of it. Fish die. Especially in a new tank, death is pretty common. Two days later we were watching the fish, when Lefty made his move.

    Right in front of us he chased is victim in circles and chomped at his tail with his miniature Molly munchers. Within seconds the other fish was losing speed and then Lefty proceeded to push him into our delightful tank centrepiece. A large rock that has been renamed, "The Tomestone." When Lefty was done, all we could see was a tail and bit of nose sticking out from under the rock. It was garish and unbelievable.

    I of course responded with an excited, "Awesome!" Which was later retracted and substituted with a more sombre and fitting response to this tragedy. Patricia just now beginning to accept the crime that was committed in her supposedly calming tank. Personally I wanted to buy a few more Mollies. That suggestion received me a look that Lefty would have been proud of!

    Fusion Ring

    Something unexpected has happened...

    Fusion Ring has surpassed Kludge Spot in popularity! Probably because I update it everyday and post less than 20 words a entry. Or maybe people just like gadgets! Regardless.

    In addition I've given LAS and Shirt Post a face lift. We'll see how long it lasts. :)

    And the Wood Mangler is still going strong. In fact I was recently featured in a popular wood turning website

    All this to to say, "I'm still here and blogging like mad!" Take that social networking sites!

    Girl Scout Stupidity

    When the email went out yesterday for Girls Scout cookies it couldn't be more plain.

    "If you want some, let me know before 12:00"

    So I sent an email @ 1:41

    "Did I miss the boat?"
    "Yes for today, but maybe I can get some tomorrow"

    I responded with another email asking the flavors, then another asking the price, then another adding a second box to my selection because my wife disapproved of my orginal selection. I then followed that up with a fifth thanking her for her patience and asking yet another stupid question about cookies.

    All in all it was pretty ridiculous. You would think I was ordering a crate and not 2 four dollar boxes. The recipient of all my queries was quite understanding.

    Today she delivered them to me, and I proceeded to ramble on like a ninny...

    "I have to write a check."
    "That's fine"
    "I had enough cash for one, but not two boxes. I haven't written a check in a long time. I think I still remember how though. Most men aren't big on writing checks."

    While writing the check I decided to fill the silence with more pointless blathering...

    "So how old is your girl."
    "This is for a friends girl."
    "Right!" I knew this because we had just had an office wide baby shower for her not more than 6 months ago! I didn't attend, as I'm not great in social interactions at the office.
    "Yours won't be in girl scouts for a while" I bluffed with a smile.
    "He's a boy."
    "Oh! Well. I won't put him in girl scout I guess..." A smart person would just shut up an hour ago. Not me, I'm such an idiot! Still I did get two boxes of cookies. So I guess it wasn't all bad.