Cash Out

I hate cash. I suppose that sounds a bit unusual but I assure you it’s the truth. I’m absolutely against the whole cash thing. I not advocating that we all start wearing matching sliver suits, start munching on soylent green or scanning our foreheads, but I wouldn’t be hurt not having to handle any more cash.

First off is the undisputed fact that cash is money. I think we can all agree on that point. So why would I ever be against money? I'm not. I'm all for money. In fact I've been an avid money collector for a while. It just seems that for some unknown reason my collection is very popular with other money collectors. People that own banks, deliver water, stock food, make electricity and so forth. People in those positions can be very influential. Because of these people my collection hasn’t grown much. I’m not against money, I’m against cash.

Cash is a pain. In order to buy something with cash you have to have enough of it on your person. If you don’t have enough cash you cannot purchase said item. The solution? Stuff your life savings in your trousers! This means that if you lose this cash your out of money. Additionally when people see you have large rolls of cash in your trousers they will attack you with reckless abandon for the dough your carting around.

Cash is highly dirty. I suppose this stands to reason, since everyone who sees it wants to touch it, that it would be quite dirty. Most people I know who see a twenty lying idle in the road, aren’t going to pass it by. Therefore cash has more germs than most public restrooms, but you’ll hold it in you hand, put it in your pocket, or lay it on the table at a nice restaurant.

Change is cumbersome. Invariably when you pay with cash you will get back change. This pile of cheap metal is placed in your pockets. You don’t have enough of it to buy anything with, so it accumulates as the day goes by. When you reach into your pocket for you keys you sow cents all over the pavement. The only upside is being able to walk away. For some reason people don’t consider it littering to throw money on the ground.

Cash is convenient you say? I disagree. I have seen a person spend a lifetime counting out bills and change for their purchase, when I could complete the same transaction in seconds with my plastic. I have one thin piece of clean plastic in my wallet. With that I can purchase anything I need. There is no unruly metal by product to deal with, just a receipt. If for some reason I lose it, I make one phone call and cancel it. Why put your self through all the hassles of cash when there is something better?

I just don’t see any persuasive reason to stay with the paper dinosaurs, or his metal Neanderthal friends. The paper and metal ways of our grandfathers are on their way out. Plastic is comming in. And although your not required to wear a silver suit you might want to try one on. The future is comming and there is little we can do about it. As for me, I say "bring on the plastic!"


Ando said...

I don't like to carry cash with me because it will soon be spent on candy bars, magazines, sodas, and other frivolous nonsense. For some reason I'm less apt to buy such items if I only have the plastic on me.

kludge said...

I couldn't agree more. There is something about cash in my wallet that screams "SPEND ME!"

More often than not, I comply.

Windy City Survivors said...

Right there with you both...whenever I have cash, I can't figure out where it went. At least with a plastic card (whether it be a debit or credit card) I have a record of what I bought, as long as I don't lose the receipt!!

J Crew said...

That's interesting. With me, it's the opposite. With plastic, it seems like the money is not real until you look in the bank and go, What have I done? I guess that's why Christine does the money. because if I did, we would be broke.

Aunt Missy said...

I much prefer the plastic approach, when Joe has cash it seems to magically disappear, usually i get the "I know I had two twenty's in here" Plus I have that overly crowded change drawer that never seem to spend on anything except Josephs Mt. Dew at school!!!!

Aunt Missy said...

Oh yeah, keep forgetting what does "Kludge" mean??????

kludge said...


I agree I have a five in my wallet right now from somewhere...I can't imagine it will be long before I can't recall were it went.

I can think of no better use for spare change than a Mt.Dew!

kludge said...


Funny you should ask... Here's a post about it from June What's a Kludge?

Missy said...

I had just looked it up on google and thought you must have picked it on purpose with your backround and all. Coincidence, I think not!!!

SJ said...

This is crazy - I posted early today and it is gone again - just like the other day - must be something with me commenting at school -

Anyway - I was just saying that having worked in a bank for 5 years, I am with Kludge on how dirty money is - my hands were so gross at the end of the day - I washed them all the time.

I also can't have cash in my pocket or it is gone soooooo fast!

jenylu said...

I love when I can leave a dissenting opinion! I like cash. :) In fact, I'd be happy to have you offload as much of it as you want my direction! :)

Two reasons to love it:
1. It makes me feel good when I see it in the wallet.
2. Stopping spending because I don't have enough cash is usually a good thing. (Too bad that credit card is in the wallet too!)

SJ said...

Well I wasn't meaning credit cards - I was meaning debit cards :)

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