Confessions Of A Thread Killer

There's something wrong with me. Stop nodding your head. You have no clue what I'm about to say!

Ahem this is just a short post for a quick confession. I'm an e-mail thread killer. I frequently take e-mails to the place where they die. I have seen the graveyard, and mostly the last responder is yours truly. What can I say, "I am cold blooded killer."

People read my e-mail responses, close their programs, shut off their machines and then burn their houses to the ground. This isn't news to many of you who have been standing there at the pile of burning soot that was your house saying, "How was I suppose to respond to that?"

As an example I will give you my most recent victim. This was an email for an invitation to the pumpkin patch. Those of you who already have seen this, I apologize for the repeat.

Subject: Re: Pumpkin Patch Clarification

I'm a firm believer in the pumpkin patch. I've been using it now for almost 3 months and I have see a dramatic decrease in pumpkin related cravings.

It's saved me thousands on seeds and the orange pant suits I'd been stocking up on! Sure I'll still linger too long in the produce section at the supermarket, or occasionally wonder if, just one pumpkin would hurt... but I've never followed through!

Whenever, where ever. I'm pro pumpkin patch!

-Peter Peter "No More" Pumpkin Eater!

I just wanted to say, "I know. I feel your pain." Well.. Not really. It would be more appropriate to say, "I am your pain". In all honesty, I know that many people do get the joke, and do enjoy it, but are still baffled at a response. For those folks let me say. I'm not going to be stopping anytime soon, and I wouldn't know what to say either!

Kudos to Kim, the lone responder!

Faking It

"Sooner or later, someone is bound to get wise to it.... right?"

Drill Sarah, Drill!

I love politics. I find the process exciting, and the cycle interesting. I enjoy listening to the commentaries, following the latest stories, learning about the issues and watching the whole gamut of political choices, from bowing to biting. For people who are not as interested in keeping up with politics, it's a lot like the annual weather pattern.

"Has it EVER been this hot before?!"
"Do you remember rain in September?"
"I doubt there has ever been a day this cold!"

The answer is, "yes", "yes" and "No. The Mastodons froze from lack of good summer movies to see."

There is nothing new under the sun, weather wise or in the great political arena. In fact it's cooled off quite a bit. Considering Ando's recent post concerning the famed Alexander Hamilton-Aaron Burr duel, where two prominent politicians solved their disagreements by shooting at each other. We rarely behave in this manner anymore, and it's too bad, because this would be a quick way to reduce the number of politicians we have to listen to.

The truth is, the population as a whole has very short memories. Very few people could tell you the stance of Ronald Regan on the 1986 amnesty bill, What OPEC did to create an oil crisis in the 70's or what Michael Dukakis was thinking when he got in that tank. Americans in general have lives. Politician know that. This means they can say whatever they want to suit them for a the moment. Most people aren't going to care or even know if a politicians viewpoints are consistent.

Which brings me to my next point. Are politicians are liars? You bet. Absolutely. 100%! Again most folks weigh political viewpoints with their emotions. Elian Gonzalez, 911 or Terri Schiavo. This means that when something upsets them they click on the news, and listen for a day or two about that one issue. The politicians will say what they think sounds the best, for this moment, and get that message to the casual viewer.

Those of us who tune in all the time, will hear their next stance, and the next one, and the one after that. It's not uncommon for these to all be totally different. I know and understand that. People don't get anywhere in politics being honest. It sucks, but it's the truth. Which means when it comes to President, the highest office in the nation, both of these men are completely flawed liars. Either way you go, "Country First" or "Change". For me, it comes down to issues.

Which is why I really like Sarah Palin. Not because I think she's an upstanding person. I'm sorry, I don't buy it. Pitbull or poodle, I'm with her on the issues, not solely her character. In fact Sarah is the only reason I'm thinking about voting Republican this year at all. I have very little respect for McCain. In my mind the best case scenario is this. McCain Palin takes the White House, an then on January 21st, McCain kicks the bucket. Hey, call me what you will, it's the truth. That's what I'm hoping for.

"Drill Sarah, Drill!"

Stealing From The Dead

It's true. I'm a thief, a scoundrel, a scallywag. My victims are totally helpless, and I swoop in a take what I need. They cannot stop me. I'm not in the least bit repentant about it. In fact I'm proud of it.

I say, "If your silly enough to pass on with nice stuff in your garage, it's your own fault when your wife and son sell it to me for next to nothing!" My soul is absolutely filthy. I need help.

I don't remember the exact date, but sometime in September I found myself souring thorough Craigslist when I found a posting for a '12" free standing band saw for $25'. It's not important what a 12" free standing band saw is, or what it does, just know this. That price was UNHEARD OF! So I did what I always do on Craigslist. I waited three days and then sent a email like, "Are you still trying to get rid of your old band saw?" This is a low tactic, but not too low for a jerk such as myself.

$25 for a 12" free standing band saw was hard to pass up. So I went down to see it. And so began my new life as a tomb raider.

After a quick look, I knew I had to have it. It looked horrible (see picture), all covered in rust and sawdust siting there dressed in a 1950's gold paint job. But in general, old tools last forever. This thing was made from cast iron and steel. New jobs are loaded with plastic, which just doesn't last. Under all that ugly, I saw a gem.

So I curled up my lip and said, "Does this old thing even run?" We plugged it in and she ran like a dream!

This gentleman was selling his fathers old tools for his mom. His father has purchased them in the mid 50's, and took good care of them, but passed away in '82 or so. They have just been sitting dormant in the garage for 25 years. His mom was moving so they needed to be sold. He was also selling a Shopsmith for $50 (another awesome bargain) and some other power tools way below market price. Was it my responsibility to tell him? Absolutely.

Instead I offered him less. I offered $65 for both units, and I'd "take them off his hands". He was so thankful he helped me load them into the truck. I'm a swine.

So after a bit of work, the band saw is working like a dream! All the rust is gone, her table has been leveled, parts oiled and bladed properly tensioned. She's cutting through wood like an absolute wonder. The Shopsmith was too big for my shop, so I'm selling it in pieces on Ebay. I've already recouped what I paid for it and I think I will more than triple what I spent.

So there it is. I'm scum, I steal from the dead, and gloat online. All in all, I couldn't be happier.