Neverending Day

The day that never ends. I have to admit I’m not sure what I would do with a day that stretched on for eternity. Would I be responsible for my actions? I mean if I got a call that said “You’re in trouble see me tomorrow in my office.” Would I care? I bet not. I’m not angling to do anything criminal. I’m just not looking forward to tomorrow.

Tomorrow just as I predicted the dentist will be able to put the last bite in his bracelet. I have an appointment to have all four of my wisdom teeth taken out, and in addition they will be chiseling at my jaw for a hunk of bone to graft on my new central incisor. I can’t imagine why I’m not looking forward to this.

As I’ve said in the past I’m not afraid of pain. This is a true statement, I’m afraid of ladybugs, and tree frogs. I feel both proud of this and ashamed at the same time. How many people do you know who have had a compound fracture and just been upset because they had to cut their favorite shirt off? Contrariwise how many people do you know who almost ran their car into a telephone pole when they noticed a ladybug on their shoulder. It sounds absurd even as I type it.

Tomorrow is my day in the chair. I’m more nervous thinking about what will happened and how much it will cost than anything. The dentists had me watch a twenty minute video laying out all the possible worst case scenarios that could happen. I sat in a room with a model of the mouth, a flat screen vision of the future, and a disclaimer to sign. He didn’t even have the nerve to explain it himself.

"We got this gruesome info to impart," He grins, "but since you’re paying through the nose, please watch it in here. You'll be alone, save your fears, of course."

I’ll sum it up
  • Something bad could happen and you could lose feeling in your face.

  • Something bad could happen and you could lose your sense of taste.

  • Something bad could happen and you could lose your life.

So tonight is my last meal. The last meal that I might be able to get in my mouth, taste, or enjoy ever. Tomorrow at eight O’clock I head into the office to get doped up and demolished. I imagine I’ll either have some good stories for Friday, or an invitation to my memorial service. Either way it should be interesting.

Fret not, tomorrows post will be up before I leave.


Brian said...

Kludge, please tell me that they are going to put you compleatly under. i wouldn't want to do that with just a numbed gum like they do for fillings. i hope all goes well, to make you feel a bit better, i don't have any of my wisdom teeth out at all. We'll be thinking about you.

kludge said...

Yes I'll be there but my mind should be elsewhere. I told him I wanted to be awake, but he wouldn't go for it.

Thanks you can picture me enjoying the spread Patricia has lined up, broth and jello!

J Crew said...

It should be a good time. I'll be praying for you and thinking of you. Slurpees and milk shakes... Booya!!

kludge said...

Thanks J Crew. I appreciate it.

Ando said...

As always, my offer still stands. Whatever he's charging you, I'll do the procedure for half.

kludge said...

Your generousity abounds.

Anomie-Atlanta said...

Oral surgery is not so bad! Just make sure to carbo load tonight, because you probably won't want to eat for the next week.

kludge said...


Sourdoughs and gummy worms here I come.

SJ said...


Praying all goes well tomorrow and that the cost is low :):) My brother found bags of frozen peas to be helpful on his cheeks. He also found milkshakes with a spoon to be his favorite next to mashed potatoes. Know we are thinking of you - and can't wait until you are ready to play Catan again!

kludge said...

Getting my wisdom teeth removed and playing Catan are not mutually exclusive. A rubber band and a bag of peas...problem solved.

ping said...

I would rather face down the biggest, meanest, baddest lady bug on the planet than spend the day with my favorite dentist plying his trade in my mouth! We will be praying for you tommorrow. Also, I was wondering, can you put sushi in a blender? Just asking.

jenylu said...

Hope you have a quick recovery Peter. Maybe you'll have better luck at telling your wisdom teeth story than Josh did with his one tooth.

Ando--will you do braces 1/2 price as well???

kludge said...


I'm not sure, but that might be the pain med talking, all in all I feel pretty good.

kludge said...

Jenylu I think I've got a good one. Have you seen Brian Regan? He has a great wisdom teeth bit!
I just finished drooling broth down my face, maybe I'll tackle corn on the cob. :) tomorrow.

Sarah said...

I feel for you. When I had my wisdom teeth out I didn't feel too bad. My mom got me a chocolate shake and I was starving. Since I had never had dental work done and therefore no novicane ever I didn't know that it would affect my control of my mouth. I took a big sip and all of it ran down my chin and all over my shirt. It struck both of us as extremely funny. Hope Patricia got a good laugh or two.