Hair Today...

Due to my recent dental work, I have been wary to shave my upper lip. I was going to do it yesterday but since I didn’t want to break down and start blubbering in the restroom I refrained yet again. Because I didn’t want resemble Adolph Hitler, I fashioned myself a goatee. This isn’t abnormal, I’m prone to use the tactic whenever I have a bad sunburn or I’m feeling excessively lazy and don’t want to shave my whole face.

During this interlude someone will undoubtedly mention it. I always feel bad telling people that have just complemented my choice of facial attire, that I have no intention of keeping it. I just have neither the patience nor desire to upkeep facial hair. I normally model the “I lost my razor” look. It’s a socially acceptable look for lumberjacks and the unkempt. I go about 5 days between cleanups, but try to shave by Sunday morning. With a beard I have to shave every stinking day to keep it looking good. It’s either that or go for broke and try my hand at the caveman persona. I’m not willing to go that far yet.

Not that it wont come in to style in time. I have to say that male facial hair seems to be the one masculine vanity that is always changing. When I was in high school it was cool to have sideburns. A look I tried, and only ditched when I started courting my wife. Soon after this, the goatee became king, where it has sat on its throne as the reigning lord of the masculine beard for a number of years. The goatee is phasing out somewhat by newer looks. Some I get and some I do not.

• “The Soul Patch” - The goal is to grow a thick scrap of hair below your lip, in an area the size of your thumbnail. It can’t stop the cold, but it can be used to catch meal droppings in case you get a hankerin’ for grain or two of rice late at night.



• “The Jaw Line” – This is a thin line of hair from ear to ear maintained with a delicate touch and steady hand. This shave was done first my accident and wasn’t discovered till late that night. But the damage had already been done and it caught on somehow.



• “The Chin Strap” – I first saw this at a baseball game. This is just the lower half of a goatee. For those who like to rub the hair of their chinny chin chin, but hate to have their noses tickled.

I’m not sure what the next big look will be, but anyone’s guess is as good as mine. I’m personally betting that the asymmetrical look will be up and coming. You know, a quarter sized patch of hair on the left cheek, and half a mustache on the right, with maybe a sideburn for balance. Only time will tell.