I’ve decided that hiccups are the body’s way to blow off steam. No one is one hundred percent sure why humans hiccup. I think I know. The human body hiccups when starved for entertainment. If you are ever bored, find someone suffering from hiccups. I'm telling you, watching a room full of people trying to solve one fellows hiccups is more fun than a barrel of monkeys.
I have seen some odd solutions to hiccups in just the few short years I’ve been on earth. Everyone has a solution to the hiccups. Most think theirs is the only effective way. I know people who swear by their ridiculous solution and will not listen to another soul no matter how sane they might be. My personal method is highly effective for me and also supremely boring. I can stop my hiccups normally before three come up the track. I will not share it because this would provide little fun at parties.
Lets go back to that poor soul who had the misfortune to hiccup in public. Now everyone is swarmed around them and assaulting them with the most unusual homeopathic remedies you ever heard of.
“John you have to drink a glass of water,” fake doctor 1 yells “Not like that silly. Upside-down!”
“Don’t listen to them John,” fake doctor 2 bellows “Just do some jumping jacks and you’ll be fine.”
- Drink an entire glass of water without breathing
- Drink a capful of vinegar
- Induce a cough or sneeze
- Scream whenever you feel a hiccup coming on
- Drink a shot of lime juice with Tabasco sauce added
- Be scared (everyone loves to try and scare the afflicted person)
- Touch your uvula gently with the handle of a spoon (I wouldn’t if I were you)
- Hold your breath as long as you can
- Smell the fumes from a lighted candle
- Take five fast, deep breaths; after the last one exhale
- Breathe slowly into your shirt
- Count to twenty with your fingers in your ears
- Say "pineapple."
The last one makes me laugh. How did that ever come up as a possible solution?
"No! not kiwi I said 'say pineapple!' What's wrong with you anyway?"
Who can guess. I suppose there is more than enough room for everyones hiccup cures. If none of these seem like you, there’s always the more ‘scientific approach.’
Got any good hiccup entertainment?