The Way to Work

I’m already running late to work this morning. I got up late and just was having trouble getting going. I was ten minutes late to work yesterday and didn’t feel like repeating that again. I finally get into my car and I have eight minutes to get to work. I’ve made it in ten with perfect conditions but eight might be stretching it.

7:52 AM - I drive a fairly beat up Nissan pickup. I decided a long time ago I didn’t want to own a car I would obsess over. I put the first scratch in my pickup so someone else wouldn’t do it. It has a CD player put no rear view mirror. We all have our priorities and why should I care where I’ve been? It is currently a gray pickup but if I ever washed it the paint job is a nice silver.

7:54AM - So me and my pickup are barreling down the road when we hit ‘the stoplight’. There are lots of stoplights on the way to work but only one has the prestige to be called ‘the’. Einstein theorized that the closer humans came to moving at the speed of light the slower time would move in proportion. I have a theory of my own. When sitting at stoplights time around it is moving at normal speeds but the light itself is in a reality that time has nearly stopped in. This time slowdown is in proportion to how soon you need to be somewhere.

7:57AM - After an immeasurable period of time I’m in motion again. I’m approaching the high school. I always forget in August that summer was a fluke and I will not make it past the high school in the mere seconds as I did during summer. Add some extra time today for the two brain surgeons who decided to jay walk in front of my car. Squealing tires will not scare you if you’re not smart enough to be afraid of death.

7:58 AM - I zip through the hamlet on the corner where the workers line up to get vineyard jobs for the day. I never get through here fast, my luck must be changing. I have made it from here in 3-4 minutes before. I will be late but only by a couple minutes. I can deal with that...

8:00 AM - There is a shortcut I take everyday and it can make or break me. It is a two lane road by definition only. The yellow line is hard to stay off. The fact that I’m trying to make up a minute or two is only increasing the chances that I will find myself in wrapped up in the business end of some grape growers heavy equipment. I come around the corner to the show stopper. There is a wine tour bus in a major pickle.

8:03AM – I don’t think buses are allowed on this road. Certainly not tour busses! This road ends at a single lane bridge and this bus has gone and got himself wedged in it pretty badly. There is a line of cars behind him. I’m number two of at least fifteen in this bizzare parade. The cars wind behind and out of my view. I cannot see the other side of the bridge but I imagine it is similar. We sit and watch as the driver executes a painfuly long forty-nine point turn. He then backs off the bridge, as we all do a synchronized reverse routine that Ester Williams would have been proud of.

8:15AM – As I drive over the bridge all I can do is laugh. It was just too funny to do anything else. Additionally there is a biker with a video camera on the opposite side who got this all on film! My morning could easily become some very nice You-Tube fun.

12 comments:

J Crew said...

Nice work. That might make an Ecuadorian bus driver proud

kludge said...

The Ecuadorian driver probably would have made it over the bridge, regardless of the tight spot. This schome should have been in a mini for all the driving prowess he showed! :)

Ando said...

There's nothing wong with riding the short bus.

kludge said...

I don't beleive I every implied there was anything wrong with it. Either way I'm with you!! Down with short bus bigots!! :)

Feel free to use this blog as a soapbox whenever you like... I'm here for you Ando! :)

jenylu said...

Okay Kludge -- you're now on my links so I guess you'd better introduce yourself at church after all! :)

And BTW, isn't there something in law that says, "an eye for an eye, a link for a link"?

SJ said...

Sounds like a rough trip to work. But an entertaining post.

kludge said...

Jenylu...

Your On! Enjoy to the links from the 3 readers at Kludgespot. I've added you as well.

kludge said...

Sj-

I was so excited, I didn't have a post till then... it's very odd to be happy over what would otherwise be annoying

Joshua P. Allem said...

Hey Kludge, you mentioned Einstein's E=MC2, but don't forget the unwritten law of Murphy's Law which states: "Anything that can go wrong, will." I swear it should be included in a scientific journal somewhere.

kludge said...

Did you notice we still call it the theory of relativity but Murphys law.

Brendan said...

I think my favorite part was going from 7:54AM to "7:57AM - After an immeasurable period of time"

kludge said...

Brendan-

LOL! I didn't even think about that, obviously...