Year Of The Lie

You’ve heard of the year of the Dragon, Monkey or Goat. You’ve seen the “Year of the Comet”, or heard new casters refer to the ‘Year of the iPod’. But this might be your first exposure to what I’ve decided to call “The Year of the Lie”. To put it simply, twenty nine.

Today is my twenty-ninth birthday. I have zero trouble with this. I have a little trouble with this. I have more trouble with this than I thought I would. I have always told anyone who would listen that getting older doesn’t bother me. I’m doing everything in my life that I suppose to do. I don’t feel like I’m missing out or need more time in my twenties to accomplish anything. I have a loving wife two beautiful daughters, supportive family, and great friends. I’m happy. There is just something sinister about 29 that I can’t get over. I’ve been saying it all morning… "I’m twenty nine; I’m in the year of the lie."

Let me explain. No one believes you when you say you’re twenty nine.

“If you want to give blood we’ll need your real age.”
“Sigh…what year where you born?”
“1977…I’m twenty-nine…really.”
“Who was the president when you were born?”
“Fine," she sighs deeply "I’ll just mark 30.”

What’s a body to do? I would rather just go straight to thirty and skip this whole twenty-nine business. I suppose I could start a new trend and stay at thirty for two years. That would certainly be a new one on the world.

Or I could just take a deep breath, relax and enjoy the year of the lie. I can do that.


J Crew said...

29 is huge. This is the last year before you hit a new decade. Enjoy it. Next year could be worse. Your friends and family could throw you a big party or something.

kludge said...

Thanks for my song this morning! that was fun. I was just sleepy when Christine called the first time, not expectant. :)

Chris said...

My mom told people she was 29 for like 15 years. No one seemed to even blink, although she could not get away with it today ;)

kludge said...

LOL! I wouldn't share that revelation with her if I was you.
I remember when my grandmother passed away we found two birth certificates. Each with a different birth date. It's strange what people get hung up on.

Brendan said...

Happy birthday

kludge said...

Thank you very much!

Anonymous said...

Who are you kidding? They don't think you are lying about being 29 because you look 30. They think you are 24! Ha...Happy Birthday Brother!

kludge said...


Thanks sis.. It's funny because it's true.

SJ said...

Happy Birthday Kludge!!!!! Enjoy this year - but really don't worry about next year - it isn't so bad!

Joshua P. Allem said...

Happy Birthday Kludge!! I'm 31 and still wondering where all the adults live. Our generation refuses to grow up. So 29 or 30 doesn't mean what it used to. Our generation will probably still be cool at 60! The only thing I've noticed about being over 30 is that now everyone under 25 seems to be incredibly dumn. Darn kids!!

kludge said...

It's amazing how much younger certain ages look. Seeing a sixteen year-old behind the wheel of a car has a way of making feel like an old man...and it scares the daylights out of me too..

I concur "Darn kids!!"