Catan Take It Anymore

Got Wood for Sheep?

Recently I have been playing a lot of Settlers of Catan. It’s a board game. Patricia and I were introduced to this new lifestyle by Brian and Esther. We had them over and I was worried about what we would do. I asked them if they played cards and they said that they had been playing Catan recently and hadn’t played cards in a while. I had heard about the game and expressed and interest to play.

I didn’t know much about it when we started to play, but I was hooked from the very first move. For those not in the know about Catan, just understand that it has moved from a simple board game to an all out irrepressible addiction. Settlers of Catan has stolen my soul and turned me into a resource craving lunatic. People I once considered my friends have become grain hoarding, ship building, road blocking adversaries.

In the game the goal is to collect resources: grain, wool, ore, wood, and brick. This occurs by dice rolls. The more resources the more Catan structures you can build which will allow you to accumulate even more resources. It’s a vicious cycle of greed and conquer. The game only ends when one person has reached a certain number of points, and stomped all over his fellow players. I have a highly competitive nature. No it would be more accurate to say… I’m a ravenous beast that will only be content play if I stand a chance to win.

Okay now that you understand the basics let me mix it up a little. There is always a wrench in the gears of commerce. The robber. Even if you’re winning and collecting vast resources, a simple roll of the dice can change everything. When a seven is rolled a piece called the robber is played. He sits on your resources and you cannot collect any as long as he’s there. Rolling a seven will allow you to move him. Seven is the most common dice roll there is. So why is it that for the last eight rounds you have roll three 2's , two 5's, two 11's and a stinking 12!. While the resource you should be collecting sits in a pot and your empire rests stagnate. Your opponent whom you’ve been crushing is now dancing a jig on the table. Imagine Rockefeller collapsing over one seven!

Patricia and I are getting a Catan divorce. We start off the evening having a nice dinner then singing with the girls. We end it foaming at the mouth over a pile of cardboard! We can no longer play nice together. Additionaly neither of us is going to give up playing! I have begun pasting up pro-resource propaganda on the walls of our house.

“Equal rights for farmers, and ranchers! Keep the robber at bay! Let the Government deal with his kind! Keep our children safe from brick stealers, ore pinchers and wood snatchers!”

So far my support has been waning. Meanwhile Patricia has been pushing her own agenda.

“Manufactured for use! All pieces have their purpose! The robber deserves existence as much as the roads! Robber stimulates competition, competition essential for growth”

If you haven’t played yet I would recommend it. Additionally we would welcome the opportunity to play with you and pound your amateur playing tail into the ground. Setters of Catan, the soul blackening marriage destroying game of resources and accumulated contempt.

19 comments:

Call Me June... said...

I too struggle with a, shall we say, highly competitive nature. I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure I have been left off the guest list of a few baby/wedding showers as a result of some of my cut-throat shower game tactics!Sometime in conversation with Josh and Andy, just mention these three words: Risk, Jody, Brad! For the sake of peace in my home, perhaps this is one game I should avoid.

kludge said...

June-

I would like to hear that story sometime.

There is a now a fairly sizable list of
games Patricia and I cannot play together, and Risk is on the top.

There's something about world conquest that brings out the worst in people...

J Crew said...

What is the name of the robber?:)

Ando said...

Are you sure it isn't actually called Cettlers of Satan? Just a thought.

I definitely want in on this. Once things settle down in a couple weeks, Jen and I need to be initiated.

Yes, Risk in Wyoming was an unforgettable experience to be sure.

kludge said...

J Crew-

We only speak it during game play... but know that it is uttered in contempt.

kludge said...

Ando -

Not far from the truth.

Just say the word. You might want to line up some marriage counseling for right afterwards, just some friendly advice.

Jeremy said...

Hey - our set of Settlers just came in the mail today, we are fully loaded for bear, if only Tyrone will stay off my stuff.

J Crew said...

Oh No!! He said it. The secret is out.

SJ said...

Hey there - we always love to play - pick a time and we are there - now that we have a game - we can get lots of people involved. I thanked Brian for the epidemic they started. Jeremy and I love the game! Let's all get together sometime soon and play!

kludge said...

SJ-

We've been playing the two player rules that the Cody's shared with us.

1. Each player controls two colors

2. You can only trade 1:1 between your two colors

3. First person to 12 ends the game.

4. Who ever has the most points after adding both colors together wins the game.

here are some others

SJ said...

Are you trying to say - just play with the two of you? Do you not want to challenge the Writebol's to Catan?

kludge said...

humm.. this does look bad...

I was just sharing, we would love to play but were going to be in the Andes' tagging sheep... otherwise...

SJ said...

Just giving you a hard time - thanks for the directions so we can play at home with the two of us too! We do need to all get together and play again soon! Fun times!

Brian said...

In the spirit of this post i believe that Esther and i will be playing a game of catan this evening. I'm glad that i was able to leave some sort of mark on the northern bay area. we wish that we could play with you.

SJ said...

Sounds like a fun night - we might have to play our new game too :)

Brian said...

Esther and I just finished a vicious game of Settlers with the seafares expansion. we played the "four islands" scenario. i was doing pretty good, until esther blocked my attempt to settle on one the island she already occupied. then i went for a different stratigy and got the "longest trade route". then she one-upd me with this huge "route". in the end i lost again to my wife. For some reason, I can hold my own and even win when we are playing with other people, but when it just the two of us, Esther beats me on a regular basis. Oh well, at least we are playing at game that both of us enjoy.

SJ said...

Good job Esther! Sounds like fun!!!! We wish we could play you both!

kludge said...

Brian-

Yes thank you. I'm now a drooling Catan dreaming zombie!

We are currently dragging all our friends who are willing into this addicting cardboard cult!

SJ said...

Jeremy and I just finished playing our new game at home - we played the two player and it was fun. I am happy to report I won :):)