A Sneaker Suspicion

I was sitting comfortably at my desk, earning my living, when something tickled my ankle bone. This unknown then began to work its way down between my shoe and foot towards my sole. There was only the thin cotton of my sock protecting me from this unknown thing. I looked, very calmly down at my shoe, and didn’t see anything. There could be no real doubt about it though, there is something in my shoe.

I have an unnatural fear of bugs, and while some of you will not understand, the idea of an insect in my shoe makes me uneasy. I have visions of spiders, or ear wigs burrowing down into my canvas. Making themselves at home in my cross trainer, and dining on the only available meat when the urge hits them. Add to this the fact that these shoes are on thier last leg and there is a fairly large hole in the one sneaker I'm focused on. After a slight hesitation, I shoved my finger in between the shoe and sock.

“All clear Captian”

“Proceed to Shoecom 4”

“Captain, what about the smell?”

“Move it soldier!”

I removed my shoe. Nothing. Nada. I shook the shoe violently; I know that there is something in my shoe!

“Peter…” The Boss!

“Hey Boss” I usually call him ‘boss’ especially when startled, “I was working on that TPS report you wanted for…”

“You okay?” He questioned, eyeing me with a slight suspicion.

“Oh… my foot hurt…that’s all.” I said, looking as nonchalant as possible. This is a little difficult with a shoe in hand.

Once the coast was clear I attacked my right sided smelly shell with a new ferver. There was something in my shoe. I was now looking for a nylon thread, or similar lifeless explanation. I've had this happen before and I was sure I would find something to explain the uncomfortable feeling from earlier. Nothing. Nada.

I left it off for a few minutes in case whatever was in there was hiding and I would soon catch with my well honed spy skills. I waited and it waited. I waited longer and it waited longer. This worked out much the way you would expect. I decided it was ridiculous.

So I put my shoe back on. It was not more than ten minutes later when something tickled my ankle bone. There is something in my shoe!


Brian said...

I hate it when that happens!!!

kludge said...

It's good to know I'm not alone in this feeling!

Chris said...

Never had that happen to me but the imagery from your post almost knocked me off the couch.

J Crew said...

There is nothing worse than finding out that nothing is there and then feeling like there is for the rest of the day.

SJ said...

That is the most annoying thing - when you KNOW something is there and can't find it - hope whatever it is/was is gone now - - - if you are like me, you will be shaking out your shoes for the next several days still convinced there is something there.

Ando said...

I had a similar experience in the 8th grade. All morning long, I thought I felt something in my shoe. I figured it was an errant shoelace or something, so I spent the morning squising it and manipulating it with my toes. Finally, during fourth period I got curious and took my shoe off. I dumped it upside down and out fell a flattened potato bug. Pretty disconcerting. Enjoy your weekend.

kludge said...

that is an unbelieveable experince. I think you might get more shoe panic than even I do... I too found a potato bug in my shoe, and I was going 'don johnson' but the total experience was under two minutes, and not 4 hours!


kludge said...


I'm glad it worked! thanks!

BTW like the new pic!

Joshua P. Allem said...

I'd throw that shoe as hard as I could at a brick wall or something. If that doesn't work, spray it down with the most potent bug spray you can find when you get home. I don't just mean, spray it a little bit, I bean BOMB the CRAP outta that shoe with whatever napom you got! I hate ALL insect life! (Except butterflies)

kludge said...


Are you my Texas Twin? Yet another Bug hating Neo-Con!