Friday, June 30, 2006

Post Circadian Depression

I’m suffering from an affliction I have termed post circadian depression. I believe there are a lot of us out there and I know it is a very serious problem. I have no desire to correct the issue; I wish only to prolong my original recreation. To put it simply waking up is hard to do.

I’ve been off Benadryl now for four days. The issues of the post Benadryl & Coffee are quite real. I’ve been a raving lunatic recently, completely unable to function. I have been worried about everything, over tired and with very little sense left in my head. Additionally I’ve been having crazy dreams at night, so I haven’t felt rested in the morning. I decided to stop taking Benadryl, and I’m off coffee. I still have caffeine during the day but not as much. I used to start the day with three mugs, roughly 48 ounces, of coffee. As a result I’m taking a little longer to get going.

I need to go to some wake up treatment center.

Are you suffering post circadian depression?


Do you feel the ground taunting you as you step out of your bed each morning? Do you wish you could shirk your earthly responsibilities and snuggle back to the warmth and comfort of your covers?

one of our patients explains, “I just start recovering when I’m in the shower, but I’m all wrinkly. I can’t stay in here all day!”

We understand the world is harsh. Leaving bed is the first step into a world of diminishing returns. You leave bed and get into the shower, its warm like the bed but your have to stand. You get out of the shower to get assaulted by the cold, so you wrap up in your towel. It doesn’t cover all of you, but it’s better than the cold. This process of diminishing returns continues the whole day till your back in your bed. Where you have eight hours of bliss, only for morning to come too soon and start all over again.

Your alarm clock can’t understand the trauma you undergo. Our centers are here to help you! We offer supportive staff, understanding and years of experience. Come and learn to live again!

6 comments:

J Crew said...

How much does this cost?

kludge said...

I was really hoping to find some clinc somewhere that accually did this. Alas... If they do start up, you can bet your boots it will be a bundle!

J Crew said...

You should start it and your catch phrase could be, I'm not just the president, I'm also a client

Ando said...

They have sleep clinics, why not wake clinics? Makes sense to me.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. And have you looked up "circadian" in the dictionary? I do appreciate your sentiments (love my warm bed in the morning), but not your misuse of that word.

kludge said...

Thanks for stopping by... I knew it wasn't right, but wanted a big word. Sorry for the misuse :)