Ode to a Frappuccino®

My Frappuccino's® not Italian
And true coffee it is not
But it’s cold and oh so tasty
It beats a mocha when it’s hot

I order it in “Starbucks Speak”
It’s well rehearsed I never slip,
“Venti, Mint Mocha Frappuccino®,
With two add shots and no whip!”

I used to order it pretending
That for me it would not be
And that I preferred black coffee
Not this sissy drink you see

But now I say it loud
Without pause or hesitation
Give me that blended drink!
Without the reservation

It only costs twelve fifty
For this plastic cup of joy
Give me my Mocha Frappuccino®
And I’m a lucky boy!

-Peter Brown 2006


J Crew said...

I prefer the caffe vanilla frappacino, but I get scared when ordering it. I thought Greek was a hard language to learn. Coffee talk is almost impossible

kludge said...

I'm having a strange urge to see Mike Meyer's Linda Richman charater.

"The number is 555-4444. Give us a call we'll talk, no big whoop"

Frappuccino's are like butter!

SJ said...

This is a favorite post of mine - I need to print it and put it on the frig! I prefer the Java Chip - but Mint would do too!

Yes, coffee lingo is tricky - I feel like Sally on when Harry Met Sally - ordering, "I would like a Tall, Non-fat, decaf, toffee-nut latte, and could I get the whip on the side?" (I don't order the whip on the side - might be funny to do sometime though!)

J Crew said...

I'm feeling veclempt. Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. Rhode Island is neither a road nor an island... Discuss

Patricia said...

My favorite is still a Grande Iced Caramel Macchiato!!

kludge said...

I love to see the newbies order at Starbucks, or even better is the Starbucks veteran pulling out the "Speak" at another coffee shop!

The other shops don't think its funny. Maybe that's because Starbucks is taking over the world, one cup at a time!

SJ said...

Lets discuss the word "veclempt" - I have no clue what it means - but am eager to learn - who knows maybe it is a word I could use

kludge said...

being a goy, I had to look this up:


J Crew said...

The caffe vanilla frappucino is neither caffe nor vanilla... discuss

SJ said...

Thanks for helping me with the vocab - I tried to look it up but didn't find it. I have learned a new word for the day - thanks J Crew!

Heavy G said...

Ah but you haven't lived until you have tried the French Vanilla Cappacino from the Circle S in Dale.

Ando said...

I think you're all very sick.

Now where's my Mt. Dew........

kludge said...

Heavy G;

That sounds good. Coffee in any form is a thing of beauty.

I take it you don't a Starbucks in town. Don't worry they'll be everywhere soon enough. Even Paris France has a Starbucks now!

Emberli said...

This little poem is a classic, I've allready sent it to my sister. I'm a decaf mocha frappuccino myself. In the past they had a raspberry mocha frap. and a brownie one too which were so good! I wish they always had them. The people who are my favorite are the ones who order there drinks at a certain degree!

Emberli said...

Have you guys seen those shirts that look like a Starbucks logo but instead of saying Starbucks it says fourbucks. Ha-Ha that cracks me up! I will drive across town to buy something on sale and save $1.50 but I'll pay $3.75 for coffee in a hearbeat.

kludge said...


Hey! Welcome.
Patricia and I were just sitting cracking up over the shirts, we hadn't seen those before.