Those Who Can...

It is the sustainer of life. You can have bread but without the thirst quencher you have very little chance of survival. It gives both conciseness and clarity of mind. Without it I’m lost. Water is the basis of life, and I’ll drink it if I have to, but I’m talking about Mt. Dew.

Looking back on my posts, I am surprised this subject hasn’t come up before. They say that you can only write about what you know, and Kludge knows Dew. For those of you not in the know let me explain.

Mt Dew is a soda, but its more than that. To say Mt Dew is a soda is like saying Hitler was bad. It’s not enough. Hitler was bad, but to put it like that diminishes what he was. Additionally he never tried Mt. Dew, I’m not sure if it would have helped, but who knows. Mt Dew is sticky sweet, like relatives who find out you've won the lottery. It’s neon green like Anti Freeze, which gives it that toxic teenage allure. It is only mildly carbonated so you can guzzle without fear of making unattractive muzzle music. But wait there’s more! That’s right it’s got more caffeine then a Yuban convention. Whoop!

Now that you see the benefits, you can probably overlook the fact that it’s got more calories than a whole bowl of chocolate mousse, and some unknown substance referred to only as bromated vegetable oil. Shrug I feel fine, and I’ve have gallons of the stuff.

It’s hard to remember when I got hooked but It was sometime in after I was allowed to make my own purchasing decisions. My parents thought I was crazy, and wouldn’t go near it. They’ve since found the humor in it. My father once sung Patricia and me a catchy jingle he'd made up. And my mother is now stocking her fridge with Dew for when we come over.

I’ve yet to convert anyone, you either like it or you don’t. Mt Dew leaves little room for middle ground. Luckily Patricia is a Dewer. Here are some pictures from a bridal shower that her work had thrown for her. Yes, I’m the twelve year old. All her co-workers bought a gift and a two liter of Dew. We had decieded when we were doing the wedding registry to add two containers of Mt Dew. These folks thought it was funny. We loved it then and I see no reason to stop now.