Bee Calm



So I'm driving down the freeway on the way home from somewhere. I have no idea where.

PAUSE

I should let you all know that I'm not afraid of pain, needles, meetings or speaking in public. Bugs scare me, especialy bugs that can fly. There is something about a repulsive creation that can fly at your face at full speed. Add extra fear for the ones that are armed. Bee's are amoung the most scary insects.

UNPASE

I look over and what do I see sitting on my shoulder but a yellow jacket. What do I do? I break into a nice chorus of "Mr Blue bird on my shoulder!"

I Scream! I scream like death is knocking on the door. I flail my arms and manage to pull the car over. I jump from the car slam the door and run around the car checking my body for stinger weilding menaces, with no regard for freeway trafffic. What would you think if you saw some maniac on the side of the road? Right... no one stopped.

After I calmed down I looked in the window and to my shock there was a very unhappy black and yellow fuzzy caterpillar smeared over my drivers seat. I apologized to him for the mistake and then wiped him off my headrest.

The only thing worse than this would be publishing this story on the web

6 comments:

RC said...

how horrible...that sounds like I tight situation...

it would be pretty funny if your scream burst the bee like when princess fiona sings and the bird pops in the movie Shrek.

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

kludge said...

RC

Thanks for stoping by, I might have to remeber that trick for next time.

Roberta said...

Ah, you did what is known as the Frantic Bee Dance. I have performed that once or twice myself, most often at crowded picnic tables, where I am free to humiliate myself in front of friends and family instead of waiting for some schmoe to stop and gawk at me on the freeway.

But in the compact environment of a vehicle, gripped by some primal "flight" response (there is no "fight"), the display is always much more spasmadic--I mean, impressive--regardless of the audience.

kludge said...

Very well put! Surprisingly I have nothing to add.

RJ-77 said...

Kludge,

I'm sorry to inform you but this story was h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s. By the way yellow jackets don't sting they bight. So really when you've been stung by a yellow jacket just think, "Hey I'm feeding God's creation".

kludge said...

RJ-77

Thanks for stopping by!

I'll try and keep that in mind the next time I'm running around my car like a lunitic.