Is it Saturday?

So I'm at Safeway with Patricia, B.C. (before children), we've purchased a flat of water, a 32 pack I think. And plenty of other items. My hands are full of groceries, but like any man would do, I grab the flat of water.

Try and get this visual, we're walking out of the store, my hands heavy laden. The flat is hanging on by it's thin, and poorly produced plastic wrapping. I decided to flip it up into the air and hook it with my arm. This looked great in my head.

I flip up the flat... the thin plastic tears loose and right out of my hands. I watch helpless as the flat soars though the air, and lands about eight feet in front on me with a resounding "WHAP!"

Water flies in all directions, and my wife stood stunned. I freak out. I moved at light speed gathering water and hauling out the store. When we got in the car I spent the next ten minutes trying, without luck, to convice Patricia that I hadn't just had a fit in the store.

...Sigh... Why do I have so many of these?

6 comments:

Call Me June... said...

Don't feel too badly, Jeff once tripped and threw three biggie drinks all over Brittany and me. These things happen! Often in our home! So about that scrapbooking...

J Crew said...

I don't believe I've heard that one. I thought we were close, but I'm seeing a trend. First, the wings of Buffalo without me and now this!

kludge said...

Sorry, I just have so many, it's hard to relay them all. As for the buffalo wings, I have no such excuses, I craved, then executed.

BTW, this Saturday's you'll recognize. It ends with me thrashing in Daisy's water dish.

J Crew said...

That was my personal fav. I look forward to reading about it

Ando said...

Thrashing! Perfect word for creating a very odd mental image.

kludge said...

Ando-

This one is a gem. If you haven't heard it you'll enjoy. Hopefully even if you have.