Sushi – Grab it out of the water, wait till it’s no longer breathing, and then eat it.

As my father-in-law is fond of saying, fish is the only food that gets less expensive after you cook it. I love raw fish wrapped in seaweed sitting on a happy bed of rice. Throw in a little green horseradish and your set. You can even skip the rice and seaweed in a pinch.

It was in the theater, while watching the last “Lord of the Rings” that I realized; I love sushi. Picture the scene, Gollum: he’s nasty, he’s pasty, he’s wrinkled, he’s dirty, he's sinister. He reaches into the clear pool, pulls out a wriggling fish, bangs it on a rock, and takes a huge bite. The theater seats let out a collective burst of disapproval, and all I can think is, “Man that fish looks fresh!” This isn’t a natural tendency, it’s a conditioned response.

I recall the first time I tried sushi. I was appalled, first and foremost by the fact that it was raw, and second that I had to chase after the plate as it raced around the bar on boats in a mini canal. I picked up a roll, opened my mouth, and my brain kicked it. My brain, realizing that I was almost lost, and that my hands and mouth were consipring to murder it's host, tried to reason with me.

Wait, you can’t eat that!
It’s RAW you fool! People die … are you still listening?

I wasn’t. I tried it. I hated it. Next I recieved the real shock. It was an expensive habit. Not only do they not cook it, and give you minuscule portions, but in its raw, diminutive state, it’s worth more than platinum. I kept trying, till I could eat it. Then I started to want it. This took five visits or so, and then I introduced my wife to sushi.

Consider Gollum again at the pond with the fish. This was Patricia. She even finished off her wasabi pile. I don’t have time to relay the story of a friend who mistook the wasabi pile for avocado, and ate it in one bite. Imagine putting the buisness end of 220 volt electricial cord in your mouth. Yeah it's like that. Anyway, we are now avid sushi junkies, held back only by the constraints of our pocket books. I wonder how I ever felt fear at the consumption of the morsels.

We had sushi for dinner last night. I never get to the end of a sushi meal and think,"What am I going to do with all these leftovers?" I do have to say, there is a certain phantom pain the next day, like when a good friend walks out of your life. Sigh...maybe I’ll find a stray $50 on the side of the road and have a piece or two for lunch.

I leave with the ultimate sushi accessory. Sushi flash drives, technology meets good taste.


Ando said...

You disgust me.

kludge said...

Well ... Okay... I apologize.

Just as an aside, is this disgust due to my eating habits, my blogging habits, or is it just a blanket statement about me in general?

Ando said...

We'll got it your tendency for eatin raw sea creatures. And perhaps your ability to post daily.

J Crew said...

I like sushi... I eat sushi...
Who does that sound like?