There Is No Escape

Today is it, my last day. Today I have torn pants, a strong back, a happy life and a carefree outlook on life. Tomorrow I will awake and put on my big boy pants, pop an Advil or two and begin the bitter decline of life. It's over, times up. Tomorrow I'm turning 30!

I've been telling myself that I don't care.

"Whatever, it's just a number. It doesn't change anything."

"Sure it does. It means your going to start turning into your father."

"What?! Why would that bother me. Do you think I care about that?"

"Yes. Everyone does. Look, your hairs already graying..."

"I did notice that..."

"Have you started muttering to yourself?"

"Started? This isn't good. I still feel young."

"Don't worry about it, everyone gets older. Here's some simple signs: High Schoolers look like 12 year olds-"


"They call you 'sir' at the grocery store-"


"You start complain about the newest clothing styles-"

"I think I'm going to be sick."

I'm not sure what it is, but today I'm really not looking forward to 30. It's funny to, because I've really haven't even given much though until today. I've been telling everyone, "I really don't care." And until today, I really didn't. I mean I really like being in my twenties. I still feel young, even if I do have a mortgage, kids and a respectable job. I mean I can go and do something totally irresponsible and someone can just be like, "Oh well... he's still young."

Not after tomorrow. Tomorrow I have to be the responsible person I have been throughout most of my twenties. It's like being in the line to a really scary roller coaster and then trying to bail right before they send you off. There isn't anything you can do. Your already strapped down, it's happening and soon you will be cresting the hill and heading down. Scream all you want... it won't change the facts. Sooner or later you just have to realize it. Your old.

I think it might this idea of looking ahead. I've been looking ahead all my life.

16 - Then I'll get get to drive
18 - Then I'll get to vote (Trust me all young conservatives look forward to this day!)
21 - Then I'll really a full fledged adult!
22-29 - Get everything done I can because 30 is coming and life will soon end.

What am I look forward to now? Liver spots and memory loss? Oh, well...

...what was I talking about?


Missy said...

yeah the dreaded 30, oh my, sounds bad doesn't it, amatuer!

BTW, looked up Horizon airlines, can certainly get a flight from Phoenix to Santa Rosa, can even do it in one day. It is merely around 800 dollars and you only have to fly to Portland or Seattle first!!!

J Crew said...

This day is huge! Monumental if you will.

SJ said...

Speaking from a person over 30, it really isn't that bad - I hope life doesn't end soon. Hope you have a great birthday - I have to tell you 30 didn't bother me near as much as 35 since that was half-way to 40.

Anonymous said...

Are you dying? I heard people die when they turn 30!

Bruna Brito said...

I've have always said that bit about 'scream all you want, it won't change the fact you're getting old'. But now I'm 29 and I'm starting to feel the need for a little screaming myself...
ps. I love your writing!!!

Missy said...

Okay I checked in to wish you a happy birthday. Happy Birthday. Then I checked out you "crazy" post! WOW that was something. I do think my favorite was the flux capacitor. Did you hit a hot button or what? I guess that is why you have moderation on now? So, hope you are having a nice day...

GT500Shlby said...

C'mon this is the 21st century. 40 is the new 20. People are living to well over 100 and not as a vegetable hooked up to tubes. It's even better than the 20's because its post kids and by then your kids are adults and out of the house. So you may have about 10 years of complete 30 something hell - but just you wait, the kids will grow up and leave and then you will have a mid life crisis, die your hair and buy a sports car and party like you were 21 again. But I wouldn't take my word for it, I'm only 26. :-) Good Luck.

SJ said...

Happy Birthday!!! Hope you have a wonderful day!

Sarah said...

I just laughed when my husband turned 30 years old. It seemed like that was so far away for me and I really didn't need to worry about it. Now it is only 2 1/2 years away and it is much scarier. I do see people getting through it and moving on with life so take heart, you just may be able to do the same. Have a great Birthday tomorrow. Do something crazy just to prove you still can.

Needleroozer said...

Happy Birthday!
30 didn't bother me at all- I had my 30 breakdown when I turned 26.

Your Uncle Dude was a mess for 39- he was so upset that he was going to be 40 next year, that it was hell living with him the entire year he was 39.

We laugh about it now. I promise you, you still have a great deal to live for, and old really doesn't happen till 70. At least, that's what I tell myself.

PS. How are your girls doing? Give the littles some extra kisses for me.

Jason said...

It's not that bad, really.

It's just that nobody under 30 trusts you anymore.

Ando said...

I'll be joining you in three short months. Try to hold down the fort until I get there.

kludge said...

Thanks to everyone for the kind words!

J Crew, GT500Shlby, Sarah and Ando... The end is coming...enjoy what you have left!

Aunt Missy, Anonymous, SJ, & Jason - I feel different, I'm not sure what it is, but I went out and bought new jeans without holes in them on my 30th birthday. It was like putting the final shovelful of dirt on my 20's grave.

Needleroozer - Thanks. I think I can find happiness between here and 70.
The girls are two crazed balls of pink energy. Bent on the destruction of their parents sanity. Basically they're doing great...and I did!

Mission Musings said...

Heading into my 40's I can tell you that I would NEVER want to be in my 20's again. You'll see.