20 Things I Learned From Sci-Fi

(A tongue-in-cheek list of things to come)

  • Tomorrow is coming for you, ready or not.

  • Robots and aliens will be there too. If you're lucky they'll be good. Don't bet on your luck.

  • If you hear the phrase "We come in peace" batten down the hatches, you're about to get pummeled.

  • Clones are evil. I don't know why. Oh yeah, so is déjà vu.

  • If you need artificial gravity on a ship or space station, you just need to spin the object in space. This works every time.

  • Technology will only work if you really don't need it to (eg. Transporters, hyperdrive or automatic coffee dispensers...).

  • In the future, machines will turn on us. So try and be nicer to your microwave.

  • Even if the odds seem infinitesimal, whenever you travel through time, you will always run into a relative of yours.

  • Causality loops, spacial distortions, titanium and spandex jumpsuits are really common in the future.

  • Sooner or later, you're going to have to hook your brain to a computer. Why wait?

  • The future is either really good, or really bad. We do away with moderation around 2015 or so.

  • Whether you like it or not, there will be a time when something catastrophic happens to Earth. More than likely we did it ourselves.

  • Lucky for us, Mars is a lovely place to raise a family and everyone vacations on Io or Callisto.

  • In the future, people can read your thoughts, foil hat or not.

  • At some point, we do away with physics. Therefore we have no relativity and have replaced it with huge explosions in the vacuum of space. Explosions are cooler than relativity anyway.

  • All aliens are smarter, stronger or more advanced than humans. Humans are the dregs of the universe.

  • Though we're really not that different from aliens. Even if they breathe cyanide and eat rocks, they probably can quote Shakespeare.

  • While we will have phasers, neutrino bombs and particle destabilizers, we will still mostly fight with our fists.

  • No one uses paper money in the future. We will have things called 'credits', which everyone has but nobody accepts as payment. Sort of like pennies.

  • 42.
  • 8 comments:

    Jeremy said...

    If you are on an away team and are wearing a different colored uniform than the rest of your party, you're going to die.

    Ando said...

    ...and it all happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

    kludge said...

    Jeremy-

    Star Trek is so predictable with that one! Did you see Galaxy Quest? They do a great spoof on that...

    "Do I? Do I have a last name?"

    kludge said...

    Ando-

    And so launched a set of jowls into movie history...

    Missy said...

    I think that was my favorite part of Galaxy Quest! His hysteria was perfect. I love the sci-fi channel because they play one show all day and change it up each day. I LIVE for Star Trek days. Oh, don't tell anyone. I want to live on Mars.

    How are your jeans feeling?

    Did you see my comment on the plane ticket?

    kludge said...

    Missy-

    Opps! This might not be the best place to hide confessions, but I promise, I wouldn't talk about your odd obsession! :)

    I replaced then with nice new clean and whole old person jeans... sigh...

    Yes! Some deal, you should go via Chicago and see if you can tack another $500 on!

    Mission Musings said...

    I'm all for cloning.

    Mission Musings said...

    And Star Trek.