Stem To Stern

Okay today is a BIG one. Story Circa 2004

I’m working for a computer consulting company. Going around from business to business taking care of customers networking needs. For the most part is was a pretty easy job. There were always exceptions, but not many. I enjoyed working for lots of different people and going to a variety of places. I was required to wear slacks and dress shirts for this job. I owned a few fairly expensive pair of dress pants, and they all fit me comfortably.

So I’m at our best customers office. I spend around eight to ten hours with them every week. I’m up in the accounting office. This is an office of only women. The room is a square and the square is comprised of solid cubes, with all the openings facing in. Picture twenty women in a square crunching numbers, cracking jokes, gossiping and rocking out to easy listening. Think of it like a hen house and you would be pretty close

In the center of the hen house was a printer. I was swapping it out with a new one. I bent down to pick up the printer and we had a nanosecond conversation.

“Printer” I started, “You need to come with me”
“I’m staying here”
“There is no way of stopping this”

I hear this deafening tear. It rang in my ears like a shot. All I could think was “This couldn’t be happening.” Then came the corroboration. A giggle began traveling around the circle of hens. What started off small was shortly out of control. I had ripped my pants from my neatly press cuff all the way to my double stitched designer waist. It was like a sail billowing in the soft wave of raucous merriment at my expense. I stood dumbfounded, smiling sheepishly and trying to comprehend what had just happened. I put the printer down and grabbed my coat. It covered the important portions, though the damage was already done.

As I was fleeing the office I ran into the manager, and she asked why I was leaving. I relayed the story to her. She looked at my pants, and started to laugh uncontrollably. As I descended the stairs, leading away from the office, I heard her in fits of laughter and few “I’m sorry Peter” like phrases thrown in for good measure.

As I got in my car and tried to comprehend what just happened I knew I would have to go back and finish the job. The idea was almost unbearable.

8 comments:

Ando said...

Ah, a Kludge Klassic. I always loved that story. The next time you went back there, did you wear an overcoat.

Anonymous said...

Where oh where is the helmet cam?!?!?

Peter Brown said...

Still an excellent suggestment. I'm still all for the last one being a video post... just not talented enought to do it myself.

Peter Brown said...

Ando-

The next time I went back, I accually got a cat call from a woman old enough to be my mother. sigh... too odd for words.

Ando said...

I probably would've crushed that woman's head with the repaired printer...or my own head.

Heavy G said...

Kludge, I aam seeing more and more just how much you and I have in common.

Peter Brown said...

Ando- That doesn't seem like you... I'll remember not to cat call you.

Heavy- I would LOVE to hear some of your stories!

Anonymous said...

This is actually one of the few I've heard before... it is a good one though.

I feel stupid quite often, but I don't really have any good stories to go along with it :-(