Slurpee© Tricks

Story Circa 1997

It was hot. I was on my way to work. I was working for a big box electronics retailer, and I started at two o'clock. I bought a Slurpee and got in my car. I discovered that I couldn't drive my manual transmission and suck on the Slurpee at the same time. No Worries! I set the drink on my steering wheel (see poorly edited diagram) and now I can shift, steer and drink. Look ma, no brains!

So all is going well until the first left turn. I turn sharply, and of course, dump Slurpee all over my work clothes. Welcome to the physical world. Here we are required to abide by certain laws. Gravity it seems is one law that is strictly enforced regardless of how we would like to pretend it doesn't exist. In other words, "gravity will not be toyed with!"

The embarrassing part was walking into the store like that. Customers, peers, and all. I was soaked in Slurpee. I had to stand and plead with my manager to let me go home and get changed. He wanted me to work like that. Retail!

Tips
  • Managers aren't paid well enough to understand.

  • You cannot hide large amounts of liquid in a pair of tan pants.

  • Some people will always laugh, even if it is not nice.

  • Never post embarrassing moments online. Trust me.

2 comments:

brad said...

If you had on the same pair you ripped open... it would have gone right through!!! Through to what? I'm not sure, but you would have avoided all that laughter.....................

kludge said...

Thanks for the encouragement Brad... I think. :)