Driving Time

Has Old McDonald got you down? Bored of bottles on the wall? Tired of counting the yellow strips down the center of the highway? Well then maybe it's time to bring some fun back on the road.

I’m not sure about everyone else, but I’m not a big fan of driving places. Other drivers cutting you off, the traffic, the high price of gas, the thrill of sitting for hours and cramping up your leg muscles. I suppose when put that way even I can see the appeal!

If there is a long trip to go on, I’d much rather fly than drive. I like being able to fall asleep, or get up and walk around, both activities are frowned upon by the highway patrol. If there is not other option I will drive to my destination. If driving is a must, I’d rather be behind the wheel than shouting orders and slamming on my imaginary passenger brake petal.

In order to pass the time Patricia and I play a game. The game is very simple; you get to hit your fellow passengers and they cannot complain. Okay it’s not quite that simple but that is the eventual ends at least. The game is a called 'Slug Bug.' You see a VW bug and you can haul off an punch someone. If you see two you announce “slug bug!” and take two shots. Using this simple formula, you can calculate out how may punches you will get for four or five bugs.

In oder to keep it fair we do have a handful of rules:

All hits must be announced. It is essential that you announce why you are attacking your fellow passengers. This gives them time to locate the VW and realize that it is a fair punch. They can also take this time to tense up their muscles. Additionally the moments are well used if the victim wants to arrange their keys in their pockets, in case you try for a leg punch.

Never play angry. This is essential, and should never be breeched. A slight tiff can turn slug bug into a counseling appointment. Always make sure your both having fun. Additionally Patricia will sometimes announce, “I don’t see a bug, and this punch is just because.” I have learned to accept that sometimes I deserve to be punched, and that realization makes our lives run smoother.

All miss hits result in a two punch payback. So be careful of punching too quickly. The back of the 1940's Volvo looks an awlful lot like the VW bettle. This is a painful mistake, as the second punch is normally landed more accurately than the first.

Car lots are ‘Out of Bounds.’ This is a rule that came about after the third trip past the VW lot. We were both swinging with reckless abandon, and decide to call a cease fire. You can decide on your own, but for us this seemed like a very reasonable addition to the rules.

Due to the fact that we liked slugging each other so much we ended up adding out of state license plates to the mix. I have to say this game beats the life out of the ‘ABC’ road game, or “Street Sign Bingo.”

There is nothing quite as satisfying as punching people and having them laugh about it. So go out and slug the ones you love!