Perspective

“Peter,” Someone asks, “Why do you talk to yourself. You know that’s real bad sign!”

I replied to them with the same phrase I always do. “I always talk to myself. I prefer dealing with a higher class of person.”

Some people say that folks who talk to themselves are insane. I’m not sure if I disagree with that, but I can tell you we tend to be pretty harmless too. I’ve been holding conversations with myself for years now. It’s not that I don’t like people it’s that I need to have something to fall back on. For those of you who don’t understand let me enlighten you.

I love to talk. You must be very clear on this point because all the rest hinge on it. The worst punishment for me would be losing the sheer joy that is verbalizing. I talk to strangers in the supermarket, in the elevator or at the crosswalk. Some people stare, some walk away but most will engage me in conversation. I don’t think about it, it just happens. I just had a conversation with a older couple in the movie store this week. They never asked me to pry into their discussion but we had a nice chat and they thanked me for my opinion. It’s true that I can get shy or uncomfortable just like anyone but sometimes talking will actually make me less uncomfortable.

That being said I will talk to myself when no one else it around, or even when they are somethimes. I have full on conversations or discussions. Sometimes I’ll just start a conversation and see where it leads me. This process might help clue you into the odd posts that I’m now producing on Fridays. Other times I’ll take different sides of debates. I’ll even use hand motions to get my point across. I start arguing on one side of the issue, then I’ll cut me off and give me what for! The nerve of me thinking like that. I helps me hone my ideas and sometimes it will make me laugh. People will drive by me in traffic while I’m doing this in my car. These are some of the best reactions I get. Make no mistake, I love knowing that people think I’m nuts.

Just to press this point, I’ll talk to vegetables in the supermarket. There is a certain sick enjoyment that comes with being the crazy person. If you see me in the supermarket I’ll hold conversations with the hot dog packages asking them which ones think they are the juiciest. Recently Patricia and I took the girls to the store and each got a basket and a child. My wife gave me a few items to find and we split up. In the supermarket with your child who doesn't talk yet. This is an excellent excuse for talking to ones self. Alexis listened while I explained the about the evils of light cheese, why Anusol changed it’s name to Tucks, which products shouldn’t have logos and how leaving the sausage isle empty handed would make me cry. Some people stare, some people laugh and some will even join in. Most though, will try not to make eye contact and just shuffle away.

I’ll talk to myself as I walk down the street, sit alone in my car or in a crowded room. It feels perfectly normal to me. I don’t feel mad, it’s just something I do. If you think I’m crazy then that is your point of view and as I said before, I’m fine with that. Just know that it's a matter of your perspective and understand that I'm mostly harmless.

11 comments:

J Crew said...

I'm afraid!!

kludge said...

Like you didn't already know this! :)

J Crew said...

I did, but seeing it in writing adds a whole new dimension. Do you ever introduce yourself.. Allow myself to introduce myself

Patricia said...

The other drivers might think you're crazy, I know it!

kludge said...

Thank you dear... It's nice to be appreciated

Ando said...

I for one am thankful for your neurosis. How else would we have gotten so many great embarassing story posts?

SJ said...

Talking to yourself is great - as long as you have a good conversation! I love talking as well - it is what I seem to do best!

kludge said...

Ando-

Agreed...I suppose if I could stop this afliction those would start to dry up!

kludge said...

SJ-

I concur. Use your gifts, even if they are annoying to friends, family and strangers!

dinane said...

Oh, yeah. I talk to myself too. But I don't stop there. I also sing to entertain myself. And when I'm listening to music and waiting for a train or trolley, I generally flail my arms around as if they were holding drum sticks and the air were full of cymbols and heads.

kludge said...

Dinane-

I'm glad to know that there are more of us than I thought. I can appreciate the singing and air drumming. I love pounding out rythmns and I too am prone to such outbursts as singing in public places. I often stop myself from over exuberances only after I have flown off the handle.