20 Things I Learned From LAN Parties

  • While Cheetos are nice, they aren’t worth losing for.

  • No one should be able to hit 27 headshots in a row. No one.

  • Alliances were made to be broken.

  • Save a life. Strafe.

  • You can always find a bigger gun.

  • Campers are the dregs of the planet.

  • A friend at the chip bowl is an enemy at the bulkhead.

  • There are never enough health packs.

  • When in doubt, shoot to kill.

  • Severely over caffeinated. It's a gamers way of life.

  • Circulation is irrelevant.

  • Your mouse hand is supposed to be cold, yes it’s perfectly normal.

  • Playing within earshot of your enemies is always more enjoyable. Screams fuel frags.

  • Someone has to guard the flag. Sorry but it might be you.

  • Thirst is irrelevant.

  • Mercy is like a magnet for every backstabber in the game. Avoid it at all costs.

  • No one likes a whiny loser. Play to win.

  • Taunt the dead. It's the law.

  • If there’s no way to win, gang up on the leader.

  • It’s time to stop when the last player falls asleep on their keyboard.

    Ando said...

    Valuable lessons all. And don't forget Mt. Dew is an absolute necessity, preferably intravenously.

    J Crew said...

    From my vantage point... #21: always play with someone on your team who is awesome. That way it makes up for you and you can taunt like you are the reason why you just dominated

    SJ said...

    Never been and probably never will - but glad you learned something from them :)

    kludge said...



    I totally FORGOT a caffeine revelation! How could I have missed that!?

    kludge said...

    J Crew-

    #22 - Gaming is a skill- find a reason to practice often!

    kludge said...


    You're probably better off, ask Patricia if you need any feminine perspective.

    Jeremy said...

    #23 - Shotguns rule (unless you are a sniper)

    kludge said...


    Where shotguns are concerned, I like them because I'm guaranteed to hit SOMETHING. Even if I wasn't aiming for it!

    SJ said...

    I think I am ok - from what I have heard, I am better off - and love the LAN parties - it means that we ladies can all get together and hang out :):)