20 Things Learned As Sys-Admin Repost
Artificial Intelligence
To me the stumbling of artificial intelligence is as simple as syntax. It's a question of understanding. If you don't know what I mean, how can we communicate? I will always be a septic of computer intelligence, until this question of syntax is address.When it comes to computer input, syntax is everything. If the statement isn't exactly what the blasted machine machine needs to hear, there's no way in the the world you're going to get your task completed. Somedays I feel like I just don't have the patience for it.
An easy to grasp example for the non-geeks:
Me: copy file from a to b
**Error, 'file' not known***
Me: copy file.txt from here to there
***Error 'file.txt' not known***
Me: copy c:\data\file.txt from here to there
***Error 'here' not known***
Me: CopY c:\data\file.txt FROm 'This LONELY place were we currently exist BECAUSE YOU WON'T COPY THE STUPID BLASTED DATA FILE' to there
***Error 'exist' not known***
Me: NO DOUBT!
So... do do you understand? If not please leave me a man file for your required syntax. I'd love to interact with you properly...
Me: (loading gun)
20 Stupid Ways To Lose Your Keys
Influence Me!
Gentle Reader;Now that man week has concluded. I'm sure that there are unhappy folks. Oh well. It was a hoot!
So now I'm looking for some ideas. If there is something you've been longing to see here, save sanity, now is your chance. Let me know. Request a 20 things, ask a question for a geek perspective or simply insult me. Whatever. I'm not promising to post your ideas, but who knows what your comment might spark!
Thanks for the help.
Kludge
Editor and Chief
Kludge Proof
Proof that I do live up to my name!
I accidentally broke off the end of a security dongle. What is a dongle? A dongle is a piece of hardware that plugs into a computer and verifies that you did in fact purchase this five thousand dollar software package. Without this small piece of plastic and circuitry, nothing loads. It's important.
The break occurred at 7:00 on Sunday night, after I had almost completed all my after hours work. One last thing to do. I was moving a 1U rack mounted server and didn't know it had a dongle. I set it down when I heard the crunch. I'd snapped the USB connector clean off. I was all alone and no replacement available. The software HAD to run by Monday morning. Not should. Had.
So... I did what anyone would do. I panicked. I swore. I wept. Then I started thinking.
I cannibalized anther USB cable in my office and removed all the metal tongs. I bent a fith piece around them all and wedged them into the PCB on the dongle. This whole process took about an hour or so. Had there been a soldering iron here I could have used that. I'm not a very practised solderer so I'm not sure if it would have been better or worse. All in all the Frankendongle was completed. It was shaky at best.
So... I put it in the computer...and the LED powered on and the software loaded up!
That little kludge stood in the gap for about 10 days until the replacement arrived.
I accidentally broke off the end of a security dongle. What is a dongle? A dongle is a piece of hardware that plugs into a computer and verifies that you did in fact purchase this five thousand dollar software package. Without this small piece of plastic and circuitry, nothing loads. It's important.
The break occurred at 7:00 on Sunday night, after I had almost completed all my after hours work. One last thing to do. I was moving a 1U rack mounted server and didn't know it had a dongle. I set it down when I heard the crunch. I'd snapped the USB connector clean off. I was all alone and no replacement available. The software HAD to run by Monday morning. Not should. Had.
So... I did what anyone would do. I panicked. I swore. I wept. Then I started thinking.
I cannibalized anther USB cable in my office and removed all the metal tongs. I bent a fith piece around them all and wedged them into the PCB on the dongle. This whole process took about an hour or so. Had there been a soldering iron here I could have used that. I'm not a very practised solderer so I'm not sure if it would have been better or worse. All in all the Frankendongle was completed. It was shaky at best.
So... I put it in the computer...and the LED powered on and the software loaded up!
That little kludge stood in the gap for about 10 days until the replacement arrived.
Random Typing The Fourth
Yet Another Random Typing Post. I'm just going to let whatever thought pops into my head out for all the world to see. This is glimpse into my brain, or a warning not to read on. Whichever you prefer. Only spell check beyond this point.Yet Another Random Typing Post. Almost sounds like it should be an acronym for something. Yartp. Like the sound a turtle makes just before it realizes that you're planing on eating it. I wonder who ate the first turtle? Seems to me you'd have to be pretty hungry to look to something that ugly for food. I presume of course that they'd had chicken and beef at this point.
"I'm not looking for something tasty. No, I was hoping for more slimy textures in my diet."
Dieting sucks. Honest. There is not a single pastime that makes you think more of eating than not eating does. I never get the sort of crazy craving I get except when I'm dieting.
"Well that salad was good. Maybe if I put some roasted turtle on there next time!"
"Yartp!"
"Oh look here's one now!"
What is a calorie? You can't touch it, but it can sure touch you.
"What happened to your pants?!"
"Calorie attack"
I love mail. Even junk mail. Not SPAM but junk mail through the postal system. Like advertisements for vacations I can't afford, free wet wipe samples or coupons for pizza joints in my town. Stuff like that. It's nice to feel needed, even if it's just by some large faceless company entered out in Omaha. Why do so many junk mailers come from Omaha? Who knows.
Never shake hands with a man in the restroom. Seriously. Don't even acknowledge another man exists in a public restroom. Some people are comfortable having long chats in the John. Those people are called women. Any man who does this looses serious points in my book. I'd rather rip my arms off and play croquet with them then have a long talk in the restroom. Can't you see the fear registering on my face?! Why are you still talking to me!
Oh look. Work has arrived on my desk again. I feel tainted, yet oddly obliged to do something about it...
The Wine Country
It’s early March and rain has fallen in the wine country. In fact, we have been quite wet for the past several weeks. There is little doubt, that for the weeks to come, the hillsides will reflect the lush green that has been cultivated in the first quarter of the this new decade. The trees around town began their colorful symphony in late January with the blooming of the Crape Myrtles. Lush pinks, whites and violets sprung up all over the landscape. Yellow, pinks and purples abounded throughout February as others joined the chorus of color. Now March has arrived, so did a new tone to the symphony. Cherry blossoms are exploding everywhere like an Asian dreamland through the landscape
By the end of March the vineyards will be a buzz with new growth. Busy laborers will be clearing dead growth from the grape vines and tying up Chardonnay, Zinfandel and Syrah in neat little rows as motorists zoom up and down the highway. The smell of grapes will soak up the air as the warm sun of April begins to beats down on Sonoma County. You can't walk in a downtown district without passing a wine related specialty store. Even those of us not sophisticated enough to enjoy wine no doubt has at least one vine inspired motif somewhere in our homes.
Yet wine does not define us here, it only adds to our rich culture. Petaluma is a city where aging chicken coops stand alongside modern buildings in which high tech industries push the envelope of what we can do with information. Wrist wrestling, butter & eggs and telecom have all called Petaluma home at one time. In many ways they all still do. In a town that is consistently redefining itself, it also clings to its history and past. It is a testament to all of us that we can survive whatever comes our way.
As fall descends on Sonoma I find my heart pulling me out on a winding cruise up the coast to the town of Bodega Bay. Is there a more moving experience than a day trip to a Sonoma coastline? Nothing like the sound of powerful waves crashing the rocks as otters and sea lions play in the bay. With your belly full of chowder you can stand on a high cliff-side and just feel how small you are in comparison. The wind in your face and salt in your lungs transports your mind to heaven. There is no more humbling view for me than this.
I cherish many fond memories of winter romps through Sebastopol in search of the perfect Christmas tree, a fruit pie or just a detour for a gallon or four of sweet apple cider. It makes you feel like a kid again to see the many cars with evergreens tied to their roofs, parading through the colorful countryside. Can there be any place as gorgeous as Sonoma County California?
The economy in California has hit on troubled times. In contrast the economy in Texas is growing. But then, if you move to Texas, you have one disadvantage. You don't live in Sonoma County. As one co-worker put it to me years ago, "I'd rather eat peanut butter sandwiches in paradise." I had to second his opinion.
What a perfect place to call home.
Sleeping With The Fishes
I know a mobster. He lives in my house, and eats food that we supply him. In addition we maintain his environment and assure that everything is clean and in good order for our mobster. I know he's a mobster, because I've seen him take another life. He did this unashamedly as my wife and I looked on in horror. I imagine he's proud of it. It's hard to be sure on that point, because he can't tell us. Lefty is a fish.
Above is the scene of the crime. The wife found herself a stellar deal on a huge fish tank. $100 bucks for a fifty-five gallon tank complete with stand and two whisper filters. For those not in the know, this is a phenomenal deal. It becomes even more phenomenal when you factor in the savings we managed when Patricia's father paid for it. I personally still do not understand how that happened, but I will say this. Never underestimate a daughters ability to get money from her dad. Having never been a daughter, I was unaware of this well know truth. As a father to two daughters I fear it in the future. Regardless.
We have a tank and we stocked it with fish. We put it up on a cabinet I made in our hallway. We did this so we could relax while watching cute fish swim around a tank looking happy. We did not expect to be yelling at the tank and gasping with horror as Lefty, the innocent white Molly, murdered another fish right in front of us.
We had three male Mollies and one female. Clearly a mistake. By some strange twist of fate one male Molly just disappeared one day. I thought little of it. Fish die. Especially in a new tank, death is pretty common. Two days later we were watching the fish, when Lefty made his move.
Right in front of us he chased is victim in circles and chomped at his tail with his miniature Molly munchers. Within seconds the other fish was losing speed and then Lefty proceeded to push him into our delightful tank centrepiece. A large rock that has been renamed, "The Tomestone." When Lefty was done, all we could see was a tail and bit of nose sticking out from under the rock. It was garish and unbelievable.
I of course responded with an excited, "Awesome!" Which was later retracted and substituted with a more sombre and fitting response to this tragedy. Patricia just now beginning to accept the crime that was committed in her supposedly calming tank. Personally I wanted to buy a few more Mollies. That suggestion received me a look that Lefty would have been proud of!
Above is the scene of the crime. The wife found herself a stellar deal on a huge fish tank. $100 bucks for a fifty-five gallon tank complete with stand and two whisper filters. For those not in the know, this is a phenomenal deal. It becomes even more phenomenal when you factor in the savings we managed when Patricia's father paid for it. I personally still do not understand how that happened, but I will say this. Never underestimate a daughters ability to get money from her dad. Having never been a daughter, I was unaware of this well know truth. As a father to two daughters I fear it in the future. Regardless.
We have a tank and we stocked it with fish. We put it up on a cabinet I made in our hallway. We did this so we could relax while watching cute fish swim around a tank looking happy. We did not expect to be yelling at the tank and gasping with horror as Lefty, the innocent white Molly, murdered another fish right in front of us.
We had three male Mollies and one female. Clearly a mistake. By some strange twist of fate one male Molly just disappeared one day. I thought little of it. Fish die. Especially in a new tank, death is pretty common. Two days later we were watching the fish, when Lefty made his move.
Right in front of us he chased is victim in circles and chomped at his tail with his miniature Molly munchers. Within seconds the other fish was losing speed and then Lefty proceeded to push him into our delightful tank centrepiece. A large rock that has been renamed, "The Tomestone." When Lefty was done, all we could see was a tail and bit of nose sticking out from under the rock. It was garish and unbelievable.
I of course responded with an excited, "Awesome!" Which was later retracted and substituted with a more sombre and fitting response to this tragedy. Patricia just now beginning to accept the crime that was committed in her supposedly calming tank. Personally I wanted to buy a few more Mollies. That suggestion received me a look that Lefty would have been proud of!
Fusion Ring
Something unexpected has happened...
Fusion Ring has surpassed Kludge Spot in popularity! Probably because I update it everyday and post less than 20 words a entry. Or maybe people just like gadgets! Regardless.
In addition I've given LAS and Shirt Post a face lift. We'll see how long it lasts. :)
And the Wood Mangler is still going strong. In fact I was recently featured in a popular wood turning website
All this to to say, "I'm still here and blogging like mad!" Take that social networking sites!
Fusion Ring has surpassed Kludge Spot in popularity! Probably because I update it everyday and post less than 20 words a entry. Or maybe people just like gadgets! Regardless.
In addition I've given LAS and Shirt Post a face lift. We'll see how long it lasts. :)
And the Wood Mangler is still going strong. In fact I was recently featured in a popular wood turning website
All this to to say, "I'm still here and blogging like mad!" Take that social networking sites!
Girl Scout Stupidity
When the email went out yesterday for Girls Scout cookies it couldn't be more plain.
"If you want some, let me know before 12:00"
So I sent an email @ 1:41
"Did I miss the boat?"
"Yes for today, but maybe I can get some tomorrow"
I responded with another email asking the flavors, then another asking the price, then another adding a second box to my selection because my wife disapproved of my orginal selection. I then followed that up with a fifth thanking her for her patience and asking yet another stupid question about cookies.
All in all it was pretty ridiculous. You would think I was ordering a crate and not 2 four dollar boxes. The recipient of all my queries was quite understanding.
Today she delivered them to me, and I proceeded to ramble on like a ninny...
"I have to write a check."
"That's fine"
"I had enough cash for one, but not two boxes. I haven't written a check in a long time. I think I still remember how though. Most men aren't big on writing checks."
While writing the check I decided to fill the silence with more pointless blathering...
"So how old is your girl."
"This is for a friends girl."
"Right!" I knew this because we had just had an office wide baby shower for her not more than 6 months ago! I didn't attend, as I'm not great in social interactions at the office.
"Yours won't be in girl scouts for a while" I bluffed with a smile.
"He's a boy."
"Oh! Well. I won't put him in girl scout I guess..." A smart person would just shut up an hour ago. Not me, I'm such an idiot! Still I did get two boxes of cookies. So I guess it wasn't all bad.
"If you want some, let me know before 12:00"
So I sent an email @ 1:41
"Did I miss the boat?"
"Yes for today, but maybe I can get some tomorrow"
I responded with another email asking the flavors, then another asking the price, then another adding a second box to my selection because my wife disapproved of my orginal selection. I then followed that up with a fifth thanking her for her patience and asking yet another stupid question about cookies.
All in all it was pretty ridiculous. You would think I was ordering a crate and not 2 four dollar boxes. The recipient of all my queries was quite understanding.
Today she delivered them to me, and I proceeded to ramble on like a ninny...
"I have to write a check."
"That's fine"
"I had enough cash for one, but not two boxes. I haven't written a check in a long time. I think I still remember how though. Most men aren't big on writing checks."
While writing the check I decided to fill the silence with more pointless blathering...
"So how old is your girl."
"This is for a friends girl."
"Right!" I knew this because we had just had an office wide baby shower for her not more than 6 months ago! I didn't attend, as I'm not great in social interactions at the office.
"Yours won't be in girl scouts for a while" I bluffed with a smile.
"He's a boy."
"Oh! Well. I won't put him in girl scout I guess..." A smart person would just shut up an hour ago. Not me, I'm such an idiot! Still I did get two boxes of cookies. So I guess it wasn't all bad.
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