20 Things I Learned From Star Trek

  • Our mission is to seek out new life and new civilizations in order to make them just like us.

  • The Federation comes in peace. But if you provoke us we'll light you up like a warp core!

  • The functionality of any technology is inversely proportional to to it's urgency of need.

  • There is no crime on Earth, there is also no money. It is a very boring place, which is why we're in space, shooting photon torpedoes at other species.

  • Klingons really like prune juice.

  • Ferengis are the species with the clearest motivations. I might not always agree but I always understand.

  • At some time in the future we do away with physics. Therefore we have no relativity and have replaced it with huge explosions in the vacuum of space. Explosions are cooler than relativity anyway.

  • Borgs are more appealing if they're sexy women in a catsuit and spike heels. So much for the role of feminism in the 24th century.

  • Even though we have phasers and disruptors, It always comes down to the punch!

  • Evil always wears a beard.

  • The Federation has no need for currency. Unless you find yourself at a Dabo table, then all Starfleet officers have plenty of gold pressed latinum on hand.

  • Fuses where outlawed in the Federation, because everyone likes sparks on the bridge.

  • When in doubt, reverse the polarity. This might also be the reason we did away with fuses...

  • Jettisoning Warp Cores 101. Right after Polarity Reversal Theory at StarFleet tech academy.

  • You can scan and lock onto life signs, unless you've been issued a communicator badge. Then that becomes the sole tracking device.

  • What happens on Risa stays on Risa

  • The universal translator; does it ever make mistakes? "Oh you want to see Remus!! At ease men..."

  • What was Uhura's job again? Can't we just put that on speaker phone?

  • The holodeck is the most deadly form of Federation entertainment

  • Don't screw with the timeline or you might end up with a whole new Star Trek reality.


  • 2 comments:

    Mr. M said...

    The Borg can defeat everyone in their path, unless they're a main character.

    kludge said...

    No doubt!