Tuesday, August 23, 2011

iMac? Say It's Not So!

So I just got a new work laptop. My old laptop was purchased in 2004 and routed to me in June of 2005. It has been a faithful companion with a simple and stable Windows XP OS. I have kept it clean of temporary files, viruses and any bloat-ware.

In return it has dutifully connected to any and all network devices I have thrown it's way. Email, routers, Interwebing or whatever I needed. But the said truth is, as more and more software cram down more and more updates, the poor little fellow is lagging behind. Lets face it 1.66 Ghz isn't what it use to be. So I was delighted to hear that after 6 years I would be getting an upgrade. Oh that new upgrade smell...



At this point all of you regular readers just had your eyeballs pop out of your sockets! Sorry bout that.

We'll wait a moment for you to begin stuffing them back and begin the proper application of lubrication. Okay. Let's have another look. See, all is right in the world, it's a Dell.

The fact of the matter is I cannot stand Windows 7. No... I HaTE iT! Hate isn't even strong enough. What's worse than hate? Despise? I would go so far to say despise or even "if it were possible to order a fatwā against an operating system I would have no regrets in putting forth that measure and following through on it."

Yeah, so lots and lots. It's a very annoying, overly needy and just generally a piss poor attempt at an OS. It is intrusive, overbearing and stubborn. Like having a clone of me inside my computer. Only this prick doesn't agree with one thing I have to say.

I say, "Please stop asking me every two seconds if I want to allow an application to open when you know that I just clicked on 'Open'."

Windows 7 says, "Are you sure? This might decrease security!"

I say, "Please don't group all my open windows in the taskbar so I can't actually see what is running."

Windows 7 says, "Sorry that's a new feature that cannot be disabled."

To which I responded, "AHHHHH!!!!"

Then I started foaming and the mouth and bashing my head on my desk. When I awoke, hours later, I felt much calmer and I made up my mind (what little of it I had left) that if I in fact disliked this new Windows SO MUCH, would I rather have an OS X desktop overlay on my Windows 7 computer so that I wasn't required to interact with the vile substance that is Windows 7? Maybe, that would be better for my sanity, my skull and my office furniture.

I figure if it's going to try and be as annoying as a Mac at least it should have the simple GUI of a Mac. I mean, why be annoying, ugly and complicated? At least it can be pretty and simple. Heck 2 out of 3 isn't so bad. So my new Mac disguise is actually pretty cool. It's like having all the convenience of OS X with none of the cost or shame of actually having to own an Apple product. For me? A total win win!

3 comments:

Sarah Kuhner said...

One step closer to coming over to the dark side. Hahahahahaha. I love macs. You will too.

kludge said...

Ha! As I've said, I don't have a problem with Macs. It's mostly Mac prices that I take exception with!

Mr. M said...

So, you have a computer that looks like a Mac, but is still vulnerable to all manner of virus and hacking? Haha. But, yeah. Macs are way expensive. Let's see what Steve Jobs retiring does for them.