Poking Myself In The Eye

I touched my eyeball this morning! Good heavens that freaking hurts. I was surprised as anyone. How do these things happen? Shouldn't we, of all people, be in charge of what our hands are doing? How many times have I rubbed my eye in the 34 years of my existence?! I would imagine that it is something that I would be the best equipped person on the planet to handle. Rubbing my own eye. It's not like you can hire that kind of work out...

"Ah yes, you seem quite capable and you have a fine list of references, but lets do a real world test. hum...Uh. No, no...not quite what I'm looking for. Sorry. Next!"

So there I am in my car driving to work when I just reach up and touch my freaking eyeball.

"Finger, this is the brain..."


"What the hell are you doing down there!!?"

"What?! I'm doing my job. Lay off me already."

"You've just sent the eye into a frenzy. Looks like the first day of kindergarten down there. We've got tears everywhere!"

"Eyeball here! Yeah, we can't see the road anymore. Thanks alot finger! By the way, thanks so much for the cereal crumbs, that was just dandy!"

"Oh... it did seem a bit moist. That makes sense. The neck must have moved or something."

"Neck here. I have to say I'm dis-a-pointed. Yes...very disappointed. You are the index finger of the right hand. You have been given the lion-share of dexterity in this body and you would think we were still in diapers. You are a disgrace finger."


"I hope he goes lefty."

"That's just cold!"

Anyway. It still kinda hurts. Weird when things don't function like they're supposed to. I almost feel like an old person.


Mr. M said...


I know the feeling well. I've had the same experience recently. Maybe, though, the real culprit is your eye lid, for not closing when it should have.

kludge said...

Yes! Someone else to blame!!