Thursday, October 11, 2007

20 Signs You're An RPG Addict

  • Countless hours of your life have been absorbed by conversations with NPC's

  • You named your favorite pen "Foe Slayer"

  • When you put on your shoes each morning you upgrade your AC by 2.

  • During introductions you give your class. "Hello, I'm Peter, level 15 monk."

  • Some days, you wish you'd brought a broadsword.

  • When people ask you about your background you say, "I was raised by wolves. +2 DX, +1 CN, -3 IN."

  • People have learned to avoid such conversations with you.

  • You roll twenties. Enough said.

  • You grade all work assignments based on XP gains.

  • You tell annoying co-workers that, if they don't leave your office, you'll to go into unstoppable Barbarian Rage.

  • You look forward to side quests.

  • You think of Mt Dew as mana potion.

  • You can't explain any of this to your non gaming friends.

  • They probably wouldn't listen anyway.

  • You believe your baseball hat is a +3 to CH.

  • You pwn n00bs.

  • You find yourself casting spells on jaywalkers and tailgater's.

  • You refer to all of your acquaintances by their alignment. "He's chaotic neutral, but we still get along."

  • There's always time for "one more quest".

  • If you are addicted, you hope they never find a cure!


  • Terms for N00bs:
    Alignment - Good, Neutral, Evil and so forth.
    AC- Armor Class
    DX- Dexterity
    CH- Charisma
    CN- Constitution
    IN- Intelligence
    N00b- Newbies, babies, whiners or losers.
    NPC- Non-Playing Character
    Pwn- To beat, win, or absolutely destroy
    XP- Experience

    20 comments:

    Ando said...

    You write a blog post that only 1 in every 1000 will understand, even those who are fairly game-savvy.

    kludge said...

    I wasn't doing anything else...

    SJ said...

    Ok - wow - I read that entire post and felt like I was sitting in a Latin class - - actually no - probably more like Spanish, because I could read the words, but had no clue what they meant. I was faithful to read the whole thing, but just didn't get it. I guess I am definitely not a gamer - but I do love reading blogs!

    Windy City Survivors said...

    I'm with SJ I was completely lost. But at least there was a new blog to read. :)

    kludge said...

    SJ & WCS-
    I know. I'm sorry. I had to write this, to flush it from my head.

    Don't feel bad, no one else will get it either! :)

    Ando said...

    Don't apologize! This is your space! You can do whatever you want! Who cares what everyone else thinks as long as you're enjoying yourself! Why am I yelling! :)!

    SJ said...

    Oh - I didn't mean for an apology - I was just saying I had no clue what he was talking about - the funny part if that even if I didn't understand it I was glad for something new to read :)

    Tony said...

    "Don't feel bad, no one else will get it either! :)"

    Oh yes we will. ;) Err, or rather, did.

    kludge said...

    Tony-

    Sweet! Good to know. Thanks for stopping by!

    J Crew said...

    I am a confused noob

    Roberta said...

    I happen to know enough gamers to actually understand most of this post. And the parts I didn't understand just made it more funny.

    Needleroozer said...

    Coming in late, but have to say, I got it. We haven't played since your 15 yr old Boy-cousin was an infink, but I was pretty into it then.

    I thought the post very humorous, especially putting the cap on to get +CH.
    LB

    kludge said...

    Ando-

    FINE! I WON'T!

    I'LL POST WHATEVER I WANT 'CAUSE ANDO SAID I COULD!!!

    ...sorry.

    kludge said...

    SJ-

    GOOD 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT GETTING ONE!!!

    IF YOU NEED AN EXPLANATION SEE ANDO! HE'S GOT MY BACK! :)

    kludge said...

    J Crew-

    I know... You need to come over for a good pwn!

    kludge said...

    Aunt Needleroozer coming out of the gaming closet! Wow! See, now two people got it! :)

    kludge said...

    Roberta-

    Thanks for the further validation. I'm glad a few folks enjoyed it. :)


    NOT THAT I NEED IT, 'CAUSE ANDO SAID I COULD DO WHAT I WANT... AND I WILL!!!

    Ando said...

    Testify!!

    3devious said...

    I got it.
    If you think a baseball cap adds +CH, you are a n00b. :P
    It's nice to see that I am not the only one who misses bringing a broadsword to most situations.

    Anonymous said...

    I totally got it--such a geek I am---but thats SO true