20 Reasons Why Coffee Is Better Than A Dog

  • Coffee doesn't poop.

  • Coffee will wake you up when you want, not the other way around.

  • You can bring coffee into any hotel room without extra charge.

  • Coffee doesn't shed on the furniture.

  • Coffee won't chase cats. Though you might if you've had too much coffee.

  • You never have to scold your coffee.

  • If you get some coffee on your pants, you won't be outcast for the rest of the day.

  • The best cup of coffee might cost you 6 dollars. The best dog, 6,000 dollars.

  • Coffee will never chase your car. Though if you leave your cup on someones roof, you might chase theirs.

  • When you take a walk with coffee, you don't need to bring a plastic bag.

  • If you French press your dog, you might get arrested.

  • Coffee can keep you up all night, and there might be barking, but it's different.

  • You never have to wonder where your coffee's tongue has been.

  • You can have seven cups of coffee in one room, and not one piece of furniture will get knocked over.

  • If you're curious what you're drinking, you can read the label, and not smell the cups behind.

  • You can have your coffee in any restaurant.

  • Coffee won't beg for table scraps.

  • Coffee smells good, even when watered down.

  • If you lose your coffee, you don't need to post a reward.

  • When you're done with coffee, you can just throw it away.

  • Originally posted on Legal Addictive Stimulants


    Ando said...


    But this was funny:

    Coffee can keep you up all night, and there might be barking, but it's different.

    Needleroozer said...

    Sigh. I miss coffee. Damn stuff makes me sick, though, so I just get by with smelling the Dude's coffee now.

    J Crew said...

    it is sad, but true nontheless

    Windy City Survivors said...

    That was great. I thought a few of them that you could exchange little kids instead of a dog! :)

    Missy said...

    Because I love both dogs and coffee, this was a tad bittersweet. I am with Ando, that was funny! Love McDonalds iced coffee, could be addicted!

    Jason said...

    Coffee makes you bark?

    kludge said...

    Ando -

    I love Jackson (straight face)... I think he must be on coffee!

    Needleroozer - That stinks, but you're right, sometimes the aroma is enough to get you by!

    JCrew - See reply to Ando

    WCS- You're right! Does that mean dogs are like kids or kids are like animals?

    Missy- I'm sure your dogs are NOTHING like this... That's the third nice thing I've heard about McDonald's coffee... How alarming!

    Jason- Absolutely!

    McCafferty Himself said...

    It sounds like you do not like dogs. If so, you might like this video at These Redneck dogs ain't man's best friend. It's very funny.