Ode to a Frozen Car


You just have one purpose
You just have one task
To get me to work
And to get me there fast

I spring from the house
At a quarter to eight
Fifteen minutes to work
I cannot be late

You sit there and smile
You’re all covered in ice
I can’t see through the windshield
Now isn’t this nice?

I work my key in the lock
And I open my car
like a small icy tomb
I’m not going far

I start up the engine
Pry my hand from the key
Feels like everything frozen
And sticking to me

I engage the wipers
They stress and they strain
“We can’t break through this ice,
What is wrong with your brain?”

The garden hose frozen
No bucket, less sun
I need to get going
Something has to be done

So I take out my charge card
And I scrape a small square
Now driving five miles an hour
...I’ll never get there.

-Peter Brown 2006

14 comments:

J Crew said...

You need the automatic car starter. That would be awesome

kludge said...

J Crew-

Those are pretty cool! did you see the cellphone starter from Thursdays post? I see no real practical application, but wow!

Roberta said...

How do you come up with these poems? I can't rhyme to save my life! (Hence my growing obsession with haiku...) This is a great one. The frozen vehicle; scourge of the late-sleeper!

What's an automatic car starter?

Ando said...

I hate parking outside.

Aunt Missy said...

I have to say, that although it might be 180 in your car come August in the desert, you never have to scrape the heat off or try to hose down the windshield. (you would probably crack it) At times you cannot touch the steering wheel for the first 5 minutes, but you learn to cope with your knees. It was in the 30's though this morning and I think I saw frost on some rocks!!!

kludge said...

Roberta-

I have a gift for cheesy rhyming! It's on my resume.

An automatic starter is a remote controlled device that plugs into the cigarette lighter socket and can start your car. Very Sweet!

Roberta said...

Definitely sweet. I need to get one of those!

kludge said...

Ando-

Agreed.

Additionally, now that you're a pickup owner you will also find that many people believe that a bed is only there for them to throw their garbage into.

kludge said...

Missy-

When all the points are tallied, I would rather be a cold than very hot, but this morning I would have been very happy living in the heat of the desert!

SJ said...

Again, your creativity amazes me! I am sure that over the next few weeks of being in Missouri, we will have some major scraping to do - - - -

Genny said...

Very nice! It had a certain "T'was the night before xmas" feel to it and I could definitely sense your frustration. Kudos:)

SJ said...

I am thinking you should put all these in some sort of book- - - - -

kludge said...

SJ-

Thanks.

It almost feel more gratifying driving in a car that you had to scrape down. You know, like "I earned this drive!"

If I do I'll use Ando's title...Ode-E-Us! :)

kludge said...

Genny-

Thanks. I have to say I was very happy in a way because I had nothing to post until I got into the car yesterday morning...

...blogging is turning me insane.