Secret Ingredient

My nose is captivated by the smell. Grabbed and dragged into the inviting mists of aroma that surrounds and comforts me. My eyes are enveloped by the menu items, each complete with catchy name and detailed photo. There is a certain quality to the food that I cannot put my finger on. I see by a flashing neon sign that this is none other than that august fast food restaurant, “Bucket O’ Grease!”

As a rule I’m not a fast food eater. It’s not to say that I feel that the cuisine is beneath my overly sensitive and developed pallet. It’s just that a majority of these establishments are hamburger joints. For the most part I’m not a hamburger person. I mean I like them well enough, I suppose, but I wouldn’t normally pick them. As such my fast food choices are a little more limited. Smallish greasy chicken pieces, or smallish greasy tacos.

For some reason lately I have been drawn to fast food. I have not given myself over to the urges but I must say it is getting harder and harder to resist!

“Come to the dark side Peter.”

“YES, NO! wait...”

“We have a pail of seasoned curly fries! And a 67 ounce soda option! ”

“AHHH!!!!”

The thing is recently I have been trying to watch what I eat. The trouble with watching what you eat is that you also spend a lot of time watching what you cannot eat. I find that while I’m eating my healthy and nourishing dinner, things that wouldn’t normally even appeal to me, like burgers, sound better than they ever have in the past. While I normally would be quite turned off by the idea that a guacamole jalapeƱo bacon burger even existed, I find it dancing in my head as I consume my chicken salad with light dressing.

I believe that the real draw is the wanting and not the having. I cannot recall ever being happy after consuming my weight in extra crispy chicken, that is once I regain consciousness. For some reason though it is hard to remember that when my car unexpectedly veers to the left and I find myself puzzling over which sides to choose. My only conclusion is that there must be some secret ingredient, beside the treasured 1000 island dressing.

Why else would I be willing to risk my pocketbook and another three day bellyache, for the least satisfying meal in America? It might be for convenience, ease, or possibly price. More than likely it's for the double-double burger with onions, well done animal style fries and a cold, thick, chocolate ice-cream shake!

Whatever the secret is I hope that I can continue to resist, though I’m not sure for how much longer. All their full sized ads, mail-in coupons and super size options are calling to me. As far as fast food is concerned the only real clarity comes with the aftermath. When the grease soaked bag lies in the trash, the jumbo gulp is gone and all you have left is a body of discomfort, and a knowledge that you have once again succumbed to the secret ingredient.

8 comments:

Ando said...

So, you're telling me that the secret sauce is just 1000 Island dressing?!?! I'm going to need some time with this.........

kludge said...

Ando-

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so flippant. Maybe there's something else, like salt or mayonnaise.

SJ said...

For me when trying to eat healthy, I only seem to notice all the things I can't have - - - I understand.

kludge said...

SJ-

Additionally I forgot my bank card today and ended up skipping lunch altogether...

...those fries are looking pretty good right now.

Boston Love said...

I completely understand. Whatever you're doing it's working. You've really slimmed up and look great.

jenylu said...

Kludge,
I started back to trying to eat healthy the day after Christmas and I can so relate to everything else looking better! Good luck! :)

kludge said...

Boston Love-

Thanks. My secret is buffalo wings every three days. I get sick as a dog and can't eat for two more days after that. then one for my brain to forget what the last two days were like. I find I get a net loss overall!

kludge said...

Jenylu-

It's hard to get back to eating good with tasty leftovers in the house. I just froze all my candy and chocolate...

...I don't think that will help much!