Monday, December 18, 2006

Intersection

Waiting at the intersection can be one of the most enjoyable experiences in life. You might find that statement a little odd but I assure you it’s true. That is, if you know what your doing.

People watching is a very engaging pastime. Some places are better than others. Weddings are good, amusement parks are great and supermarkets are superb. You need to find that place where they feel that they are in a protected bubble. Somewhere that there is both a level of privacy for them and a clear view for you. I submit that the car driving through the busy intersection is just such a spot.

When you are alone in your car you are at liberty to do some of the most outrageous things. I find that while I’m at the stoplight I get to see a dozen vignettes pass by at high speeds. Like the collection of various blooper reels all pieced together for my enjoyment.

Leading the show is the juggler. To watch the expressions on this mans face as he simultaneously, turns on his left turn blinker, shift into first, works the steering wheel and tries to finish that last bite of cheese burrito is worth a full priced admission to the movies. His performance only lasts for a second of course but it is followed up with a fellow who believes he has totally privacy until he looks over and sees me giving him a huge grin. This wouldn't be so bad if he hadn’t had his finger so far up his left nostril that I could see his hair moving. Luckily he’ll never see me again and if he does he will not remember me. As for me, I will have his face etched in my memory till the day I die.

Just when I though it couldn’t get any better the next car in the parade is one of my favorites. The singer. It looks very funny to see someone belting out a very energetic song complete with clapping and head wagging while you can only guess what it sounds like. This particular performance is even more fun for me, because it is one that I frequently engage in. When I see the singer drive by I laugh both for how odd it looks, and knowing that additionally how much entertainment my silence singing has given to others.

That car was followed by a commercial break. It was a huge shipping truck with a very dull but obviously dedicated driver. Since I had nowhere to go I waited for the regular programing to return. I was not disappointed.

There is something amusing about two passengers faces when they don’t think the other person can see them. The man was driving with a very disgusted look on his face, as his female passenger used her left hand as an outrigger and with her right she applied a very think layer of mascara to her eyes. Make-up while driving. This activity is one of the most daring you will see as a motorist watcher! To put your entire days appearance in the hands of a whole road of bad drivers is as daring as it gets!

Then the light turned green and ended the show. I was a little disappointed but really had no choice but to continue on my way. Of course I knew that there was also a good chance I would hit the upcoming light just right and get stopped again for an encore performance at the next intersection.

12 comments:

J Crew said...

I am totally the singer. A few years ago I was singing in the car and I looked over to my right and someone was singing the same song I was. The person looked at me and gave me the thumbs up sign. I didn't sing in the car for months after that!

Jennylu said...

We always like to think that slight tinting in the glass affords us a little more privacy than apparently we actually have!

I've not only applied make-up as a passenger, but also as the driver! It explains a lot...

Roberta said...

Back when I had my own car (which was an automatic) I had been known to change clothes on my way to work when I was really pressed for time. I discovered one day that I can put a pair of nylons on while exiting the freeway and keeping one foot on the gas and/or brake pedal, a thought I'm sure makes my husband shudder everytime he sees me drive off in his truck. Lucky for everyone, I don't have a fancy schmancy job that requires nylons anymore, or an automatic.

kludge said...

J Crew-

If my lips hadn't been frozen together this morning, you would have seen me singing in my car.

I had no clue you were in front of me, and was like "Who is this guy sticking his hand out the window?!"

PS...you gotta try the shortcut.

kludge said...

Jenylu-

It feels better to believe that, I also know that most people have better things to do with their time then watch others. I just happen to make a habit of it.

Tons of women do it. I'm always impressed when my wife does. It seems like a difficult skill...

kludge said...

Roberta-

That is both amazing and terrifying. Amazing to know that it can be done and terrifying to think of other who might try it. I once tried to put on my shoes while driving and almost killed myself and sever other people. It's not good when your laces get stuck while you should be applying the clutch.

Jason said...

"This wouldn't be so bad if he hadn’t had his finger so far up his left nostril that I could see his hair moving."

So, I'm driving to work this morning, scratching my nose, and I see this strange man staring at me like I'm from out-of-town or something. Probably just some California weirdo.

(overheard at the watercooler this morning)

J Crew said...

I agree Kludge. You will have to show me the turn off sometime. It was like all the sudden you were there and then you weren't. I needed it as I was running a bit late

kludge said...

Jason-

"Probably just some California weirdo." This wouldn't be half as funny if it weren't true.

On a side note, you wonder what part of his nose he was scratching, I'm placing my money on the inside part...

kludge said...

J Crew-

Ah yes, my cloaking device...

..It's the left turn right BEFORE the railroad tracks. Very handy!dbl

SJ said...

People watching is a great thing - the airport is a great place for this too I have found. You see ALL sorts - and they all look silly.

I have done the make-up in the car thing - driving and all! Makes for an adventure. My favorite is seeing someone singing (even though I do this as well!)

kludge said...

SJ-

Good call! The airport is a great place. Anyplace where stress or boredom replaces the normal self restraint gene.