“Welcome to the Friday meeting of ‘Afraid of Bee’s Anonymous.’ As always we are meeting in the heavily fortified fortress that is Franks basement. I wanted to start the meeting off by letting you all know we have canceled the picnic, on account of possible sunshine. Additionally I want to apologize for the snack last week. It seems that someone brought honey to serve on the scones. They were new to our group and didn’t know that some of our members were also scared of bee by-products. They have decided not to return. Something about our 'freakish' ways. In other agenda items, Frank said we can’t keep meeting in his basement after May as his mom wants to install a few windows for air. We will have to find a new meeting place that is non-bee friendly. With the business out of the way I would like to welcome our newest member, Peter.”
“Hello my name is Peter and I’ve been afraid of bees for eternity”
Bees. Mean. Evil. Ugly. It’s true I’m deftly afraid of bees. I’m not even sure why. There is just something about them that absolutely terrifies me. As a child I used to get stung quite a lot. I lived for six years at my grandmothers house and she had a pool. We loved the pool and were attracted to in the summer. For some reason so were the bees. I was probably stung a half a dozen times every summer. I will never understand why they liked hanging around the pool because while I could go underwater safely they would die. Regardless it never dissuaded them.
That might be why I decided, then and there, that bees are evil. There are lots of different types of bees. I know that and I don’t care. I’m lumping them all together. Bite or sting it’s all the same to me. They are all heavily armed and have amazing mobility to boot. It's like a mini fighter jet on a shooting spree! Why give a flying bug artillery? That is just asking for trouble. There is something in their little insect brain that says, “I must punish the fleeing humans!” When it comes to bees, I’m not a fighter, I’m a fleer.
Additionally they are ugly. I mean just look at a wasp. They are barely held together, all segmented and sleek. Maybe that’s why they all have such attitudes, some sort of ego boost. “I might be ugly fella, but you're the one running through the house screaming like a ninny and waving your arms while in your underpants! Take that!” -Sting!-
Be it silly or not, I will probably not get over this anytime soon. I suppose if nothing else, I can provide some excitement, and enjoyment for those around me!