Rat Tails

One night a about two months ago we had a rat in the house. It was a rather large rat. It is no longer with us, but it left a rather large impression on our lives. You see, well...let's start from the beginning.

The wife and I where having trouble sleeping. It was early February and the rains were in full force. While we were trying to drift off to sleep we heard a scratching sound. You know that sort of sound that triggers your brains awake? Similar to the crying child or distant scream. It says, "Snap out of it! I'm important!"

So we both popped out of bed and, looking at each other with wide eyes, followed the sound down the hallway. It was coming from the heater closet. I flipped on the light and opened the door. Nothing there. Wait...ah yes. Droppings. oh crap not what we wanted to see.

That night passed slowly and hazy call of sleep that was once upon didn't return so readily. Eventually morning arrived and while I was at work, Patricia went to the store for some mouse traps. She set them out and we waited for that clapping sound of victory. This feeling that you are the master of your home and the lord of your manor. I imagine this the same feeling any general gets when they've defend their ground and pushed back the enemy.

The next morning we awoke to a sprung trap and no victory. Defeat! We set another trap and waited. While the wife was in the living room with our eldest daughter I was in the office and heard her call.

"Peter!!"

"What is it."

"A tail! It's huge!!"

Indeed. From under the door by the heater a four inch tail was evident. This was no mouse...this was a rat. Our home was now infested and we were prisoners to a vermin living comfortably off our crumbs. Patricia ran out to the store and bought rat trap...a big one. The really sticky kind. She put it int he closet and within 5 minutes we heard the thrashing of rat.

"Now what?"
"We get it rid of it," I respond

She grabs a pot from the kitchen and walks to the closet.

"I can't do it," She says and hands the pot to me. "Will this do?"

"Yeah that'll do. Don't let Hannah see."

Just so you're clear here.... Patricia got a pan, because she wanted to scoop this giant thrashing rat into and dump it in the trash while still alive. I accepted the pot, becuase I was going to bang it on the head as hard as I could and put it out of it's misery. I've never killed anything larger than a bug before.

So when I raised the pot over my head and came down
"Wham!" "WHAM!"

Patrica was stunned. "What ARE you doing!?!"
"Getting rid of the rat.." I pant out of breath

As we stood there both puzzling over each others puzzling. Hannah, who just figured out what had happened, made her own quiet confession...

"I thought that was one of Cinderellas friends."

The Brown house may never be the same.