Picking Fights On The Internets

If you have any sort of Internet exposure, I'm sure that you've found someplace, somewhere in the vastness of the web to express your self. Regardless if the place be Reddit, Digg, Facebook, or the Northwest Knitting Club's Chat Forum, you've no doubt seen the flame war.

It always starts off so...innocently. Someone somewhere makes a remark, and this dude, can't let it go. Seriously, all it takes is one person to get their knickers in a bunch, and everything comes tumbling down. I think the Internet is a great place for fighting.

First off, everyone believes that they have all the answers at their finger tips. They accept websites with gross misspellings (yes like this one!) and Yugoslavian top level domains(yu for those not in the know) as "the the" instead of taking some time and really looking for an answer. Or better yet, waiting for someone who does know the answer to come along!

Secondly, the anonymity of the interwebs is perfect for flaming. I mean who knows who ParisLoveBug really is. Why should she care is LoggerNights thinks she's an idiot. I suppose, for all intents and purposes, ParisLoveBug and LoggerNights could be the same sick dude, just having fun trying to get a conversation going. (Yes I'm speaking from experience here.)

Third, there is something so entertaining about watching an Internet fight go down. You don't know if your agreeing with baseless charges of a thirteen year-old or defending the rantings of an ex convict, but it's always great to get the zinger in, and rally the support or knock down the other side. (Vi rocks you GUI craving babies!)

In my experience the exchange is, in general, fairly close to this:

First reaction- Emotion - "Well I never!" Or "What gives thim the right" or "I always take out my RAM with the power on! Dummies!"

Second reaction- Defense - "I wouldn't have said anything if bozo brains hadn't a started it!" or "Well if you didn't want to be ridiculed you shouldn't have invaded Poland!"

Third reaction - Superiority -"At least I know how to make toast" Or "At least I've seen a positron!" Or "At least I'm not so stupid as a to suggest that Microsoft Bob was an OS!"

Fourth reaction- Guilt - "I meant your mother MIGHT be ugly" Or "I'm sure you ARE legitimate." Or "That was my cat who typed that... I fed him to the parakeets."

Fifth - Separation - "Where is everyone?" Or "looks like I've got to change my screen name, YET AGAIN."

I'm not sure if there is anything quite like an Internet flame war in the real world, so... If you haven't experienced one, might I suggest you go out a pick a fight!