An Empty Hat Hook

While trudging through a new book store
I saw a hat hook. Nothing more
Apparently used just for show
On a pillar by the fiction row.

I looked it over once, then twice
Of antiqued brass it once was nice
But why here this poor neglected bit
For I could see no use of it

Who hangs a hat near Bear or Clarke?
Why should here it make its mark?
I swear I found no use or function
For a hat hook at this junction

"So, what's your point?" I asked of it
"I'm here for hats, you stupid git"
I smiled and nodded most politely
And then I gripped it rather tightly

I ripped the hook right off its screws
Then searched the store for the refuse
I dumped it loudly in the bin
The resulting crash, an awful din

For no one feels bad for a hat hook with an attitude!

Peter P. Brown 2009


Tony said...

OI! I for one liked that hat hook. Sounded like my kind of a hat hook. I'm sure we could have gotten along quite well.

And an empty hat hook is always much preferable to no hat hook at all. These days I wear mostly boonie hats which are rather inexpensive (and come with a chin strap), but when I used to wear my western style hat (which is worth several hundred US dollars), it could be a nuisance to balance it on the backs of chairs or otherwise find a safe place for it if I stopped somewhere where manners or comfort would dictate I take off my hat. Especially considering how rude and inconsiderate people over here can be when it comes to other peoples property.

kludge said...


It was the strangest spot, literally wedged between a building support post the the fiction bookcase, clearly some lazy worker who didn't want to spent the 2 minutes required to get a screwdriver.

But yes, in general I'm a hat hook fan!