Wet Socks

Wet Socks. It needs to be addressed, and I doubt anyone else is even thinking about it. In fact I believe that I can state without fear of contradiction that this is the only place where you are going to find a commentary about the whole wet sock thing. Your wildest dreams are about to come true. Buckle up.

I'm not sure why this popped into my head but the other day I was drying off after getting out the shower. It was during this process that I made a mistake. I relied too heavily on the floor mat to thoroughly dry off my feet. I thought, that since it was thick and dry it could handle the job. I presumed that I would worry about the other ninety-five percent of my body and it could take care of my feet.

It was a real eye opener when I started to put on my last clean pair of white socks that I had expected too much out of it. The bottom of my feet were still wet. Ever tried to put dry socks on moist feet? For some reason that I've yet to fathom, it is an extremely difficult process. Why?

Shouldn't it be easier? Images rush into my brain of trying to slide a foam handlebar grip back onto my aluminum bicycle as a tot. The only solution is to wet the foam, if you try it dry I could take hours. Or at least ten minutes which is equivalent to hours if measured by any eight year old I've ever met. Ring stuck on your finger? Run it under cold water and it will slide right off. I agree that an oily substance is by far the best solution, but water normally works. Even if you don't agree totally, I'm sure you can agree that water is not generally considered a sticky paste. For whatever reason this is what it becomes went attempting to put dry socks on slightly wet feet.

There are a number of situations in my life that I would never want anyone to see me in. Easily one of the most ridiculous is a picture of a half nude adult male hopping around on one foot in his rather close quartered bedroom area trying with every ounce of his being to slip a sock onto his wet foot. The sock and the foot being polar opposites and their ways will never be altered, especially by this rather late and severely uncoordinated monkey man hopping and teetering in this rather confined space.

Have you ever fallen over and hurt yourself doing something that you would never like to admit to another living soul on earth, not even your spouse of over nine years?

No? Me either.

9 comments:

J Crew said...

That is true. The worst though is when your socks do that because of sweaty feet. That is repulsive.

MIssy said...

Just the thought of you hopping around falling all over yourself.... well you made my day! Of course even after being married 24 years there are plenty of things you don't share, but somehow you can do it on a blog???

Windy City Survivors said...

I agree with Missy, you gave me a good laugh. I can't believe how openly you share with your blog audience! ;) I'd love to know what Patricia was thinking!

Ando said...

Unlike Missy, I can't say the thought of you hopping around and falling has made my day. Quite the opposite, in fact. Mostly because you included the detail that you were half-nude.

kludge said...

J Crew-

ugh. I agree...

kludge said...

Missy-

I'm glad I have a purpose. Patricia knows everything, even if I don't tell her about it.

kludge said...

Ando-

Half nude is also half clothed. I was actually decent, if it makes you feel better...

...not that I think it will. :)

kludge said...

WCS-

I've always pictured Wayne and my personalties to be similar. What would you think?

She dismisses these things as fairly common place. That what happens after living with a nut for nine years.

Windy City Survivors said...

I think that I would have to agree. There are times that you post things that I think, wow, that sounds like Wayne. I feel for Patricia! :)