Experimentation

“Wait. Stop.”

“What now?”

“Do you really think this is such a great idea?”

“Please do we have to go through this again? I assure you everything will be fine. This is going to be great.”

“I know but I’m the one with the rocket strapped to my back.”

“Last night you said you wanted to do it. You were all jazzed in the car coming out here and you even rushed through getting all setup and ready. But now when I come near you to light the fuse you stop me. What’s wrong with you?”

“I apologize. It’s just that there is a certain weight of reality that comes with seeing a lit match in your hand.”

“I understand, you’re nervous. That fine. Lets talk about it.”

“Thank you. So tell me again what will happen”

“Right, so I’ll light the match and set you off.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Right, so I’ll light the match and start the fuse on the gigantic rocket strapped to your back. That rocket will propel-”

“Where did get this idea again?”

“I told you, from a comic book. That rocket will propel you forward on the roller-skates at a rate of 70 MPH –“

“And where did you get the skates again?”

“From my sister’s closet…I must say I was rather surprised that they fit on your feet.”

“I have abnormally small feet what can I say. It’s a gift. This is great, not only am I going to die, but also I now have to go to my grave knowing I have girl-sized feet. I’m a crazy person strapped to a rocket wearing hot pink “You Go Girl!” roller-skates with abnormally small feet!”

“That rocket will propel you forward on the roller-skates at a rate of 70 MPH towards the cliff-“

“I have to say, honestly, that cliff isn’t doing very much to help calm my nerves either. Why did you decide I needed to propel myself off a cliff?”

“That’s the way they did it in the comic. Besides you’ll parachute down once the rocket wears out.”

“Right. Now it occurs to me I’ve never seen a rocket wear out before. Mostly they explode at the end. Are you sure this isn’t the exploding kind?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Who’s the munitions expert?”

”I thought munitions meant weapons? Am I a human bomb or something?! Will the military shoot me out of the sky if they me? I’m sure they don’t see a lot of a crazy people with abnormally small feet, strapped to a rocket wearing hot pink “You Go Girl!” roller-skates, floating down into a valley with a WWII parachute they snatched from their grandfathers attic! I imagine if they did see me they’d shoot first and ask questions later!”

“Will you just relax?! Look, all you have to do is stay up on the skates till you reach the cliff and then pull the ripcord for the parachute when the rocket is no longer propelling you forward. Got it?”

“That’s another thing. Let’s talk about the parachute. Are you sure you packed it right?”

“Yes. I’m positive. Everything is perfect! I know what I’m doing! I have everything set. Will you please get a grip on yourself so we can get on with this?!”

“Why aren’t you the one doing this again?”

“First, I’m the rocket expert and secondly I didn’t fit in the roller-skates, remember?”

“Right.”

“Come on. Are you ready yet? I got the camera all setup and there is a crowd all gathered down in the valley for your landing. Shoot, I mean, we sold tickets! Everything will be just fine! It will be great! Nothing will go wrong! I promise! Can I please light the fuse!?”

“Sigh…Okay, you’re right. I’m ready. Light me…”

10 comments:

Roberta said...

Ok, now I have to know what happens...

By the way, can you write my final paper for me? I think you'd do much better than I.

kludge said...

Roberta-

I could tell you what I think but I'd rather hear your ending. :)

HA HA, I'm afraid I was always lousy in school. I guess I just needed a blog to finally start meeting my deadlines...Thank you for the compliement though.

Aunt Missy said...

Okay are we supposed to finish the story? There is no way I could do your writing justice. I don't want to speak for everyone but you set the bar a little high. If someone doesn't finish today, you must!! Good thing I work alone, you two (JCrew and you) have me addicted.....

kludge said...

Missy-

No, I wasn't expecting anyone to finish it, I was just wondering what happened. This is the story's end as far as I'm concerned. I sure there was more but it might have gotten messy. :)

I understand the blog addiction. I've been completey hooked since December when our friend Ando took the plunge.

SJ said...

Your creativity amazes me - and yes, I would like an ending too!

Brian said...

I like the fact that we are able to think of our own ending. I can just picture it in my head one guy taking a match to the fuse while the other squinting his eyes shut waiting for the resulting explosion of power on his back.

Jason said...

Kludge,

You should add a small college band among the crowd and have them play

"Come on baby light my fire...
Gonna set this fool on fire..."

kludge said...

SJ-

Thank you... Well it looks like I might have to finish this someday.

kludge said...

Brian-

I agree and I would definitly rather be the lighter than lightee.

Why you're at it, try and picture a parachute and rocket on one back...

kludge said...

Jason-

That's great! I love it!

I think I can hear them down there belting it out, right now.