Flamingo Fever

There are two basic types of people in this world, people who like plastic pink flamingos on their lawn and people who do not.

Don’t get me wrong I like to see a front yard with a little extra spice on it once in a while. I’m not saying we all have to have the same 20’ x 18.5’ front lawn planted with Bermuda grass and 2.3 inches deep. I’m not for regulation of peoples style. All I’m saying is that it takes a certain type of person to buy a plastic pink flamingo and plant it in their lawn.

When it all comes down to it the single pink flamingo is not doing anyone any harm. If you like it, you should have it. Maybe it brightens up your morning, makes you think about shrimp, or makes you yearn for another vacation to Argentina. It's the folks who get really excited about the little plastic sculpture that I don’t understand.

One time, while en route to our vacation destination, we spotted a sight that I will never forget. It was a house. It was a nice house with a fabulous view from across this gully in a heavily forested area. That was not the reason that we stopped though. We pulled off the side of the road with slacked jaws because all over the house, lawn, trees, shrubs and any open space were pink flamingo stand ups. I believe we counted over a hundred of the little rascals. In addition to all the pink flamingos were a dozen or so red ones, and a single blue flamingo just to add a dash of class.

This person had every right to collect flamingos and litter their lawn with them. I’m not condemning this behavior I’m just asking a simple question. Why? Is it really necessary to have a freaking flock of fabricated flamingos on your front lawn? I have often wondered if this flamingo fever had stopped at the front. I cannot imagine someone who would do this to their lawn having the self restraint to stop at the door. Maybe some pink flamingo table legs? Possibly pink flamingo lamp shades, chairs, oven mitts or Tupperware set. Who can guess.

When it comes to pink flamingos I have to side on the ‘people who do not’ camp. It’s not to say I don’t smile each time I see one, but it’s not that I’m basking in the joy of the creation. It’s more that I’m trying to picture the person who had the nerve to drive to store, pick one out of the garden section and wait in line. Anyone who has that much self confidence is my hero, and the thought of them brings a smile to my face.