Flamingo Fever

There are two basic types of people in this world, people who like plastic pink flamingos on their lawn and people who do not.

Don’t get me wrong I like to see a front yard with a little extra spice on it once in a while. I’m not saying we all have to have the same 20’ x 18.5’ front lawn planted with Bermuda grass and 2.3 inches deep. I’m not for regulation of peoples style. All I’m saying is that it takes a certain type of person to buy a plastic pink flamingo and plant it in their lawn.

When it all comes down to it the single pink flamingo is not doing anyone any harm. If you like it, you should have it. Maybe it brightens up your morning, makes you think about shrimp, or makes you yearn for another vacation to Argentina. It's the folks who get really excited about the little plastic sculpture that I don’t understand.

One time, while en route to our vacation destination, we spotted a sight that I will never forget. It was a house. It was a nice house with a fabulous view from across this gully in a heavily forested area. That was not the reason that we stopped though. We pulled off the side of the road with slacked jaws because all over the house, lawn, trees, shrubs and any open space were pink flamingo stand ups. I believe we counted over a hundred of the little rascals. In addition to all the pink flamingos were a dozen or so red ones, and a single blue flamingo just to add a dash of class.

This person had every right to collect flamingos and litter their lawn with them. I’m not condemning this behavior I’m just asking a simple question. Why? Is it really necessary to have a freaking flock of fabricated flamingos on your front lawn? I have often wondered if this flamingo fever had stopped at the front. I cannot imagine someone who would do this to their lawn having the self restraint to stop at the door. Maybe some pink flamingo table legs? Possibly pink flamingo lamp shades, chairs, oven mitts or Tupperware set. Who can guess.

When it comes to pink flamingos I have to side on the ‘people who do not’ camp. It’s not to say I don’t smile each time I see one, but it’s not that I’m basking in the joy of the creation. It’s more that I’m trying to picture the person who had the nerve to drive to store, pick one out of the garden section and wait in line. Anyone who has that much self confidence is my hero, and the thought of them brings a smile to my face.

17 comments:

SJ said...

Well - may favorite was when I was in Missouri with my family and we were out looking at Christmas lights - there was one yard that was filled with lighted - moving - pink flamingos - - - - and beware - one of the things we did in MO was not to "TP" peoples yards, but there was a traveling group of pink flamingos that would mysteriously show up in peoples yards - we might have to get that going here - quite fun I might add :)But I do side on the ones who "don't prefer them."

J Crew said...

I'm not a fan of the pink flamingo and that house was very impressive. In SR, Christine and I once saw on the front rock lawn of a house, a metal dragon. No joke. It was probably 10 feet wide and 6 feet high and it was horrific. I'm sure the neighbors loved it

kludge said...

J Crew-

wow...now unlike pink flamingos, one of those might be one too many..

kludge said...

SJ-

Now that sounds like a fun gag! Of course now if a flock finds is way in my yard I'll know who to return them to!

Ando said...

Now I know what somebody's getting for Christmas.....

SJ said...

That was the fun part - they were a traveling group of flamingos - never knew when or where they might show up - - - - -

RJ-77 said...

I like plastic leg lamps, like the one on Christmas Story. I think somebody should have those all over their lawn. Now that would be cool!

kludge said...

Ando-

sweet... I get J crew his hub caps, and then we'll have to hunt down Aurthur Bailey and tell him you need some more of his help at your place...

What a memorable Christmas this should be...

kludge said...

Sj - It sounds like fun. I think they would look great on someones roof!

kludge said...

RJ-77

That could be interesting... I bet you'd get a lot of holiday traffic...

SJ said...

Now that is a cool idea :):) Great thinking - we just have to get a collection of them now :)

jenylu said...

I like the Flamingo idea -- sounds much nicer than trying to pull TP out of trees!

Although The Christmas Story is a real favorite in this household, I still prefer the flamingos.

SJ said...

Never should I have given a Rowlands this idea - - - -ha ha!

dinane said...

I recently saw a news story about lawn flamingoes. Sadly (?) the company that makes them is going out of business. Don't fear, though. They're selling the mold to the highest bidder.

kludge said...

Dinane-

That actually is rather said. I think the world would be less interesting without those tacky little stakes. I guess business isn't what it used to be.

I'm hoping the new owners will but out some orange, plaid or even paisley flamingos. I might even buy one.

Anomie-Atlanta said...

Have you seen the duck that has holiday specific outfits? They are prevalent in slightly higher income neighborhoods than the habitat of the plastic flamingo, but equally tacky.

kludge said...

Anomie-Atlanta-

I have not, but from your description I feel lucky that I haven't. I will be on the lookout for dress up ducky!