Searching For Servants

During my recent vacation the wife and I stayed in the hotel from hell. The beds were twins, build out of rocks and the whole place was under construction. The construction crew started working at 7am. Needless to say, it was lovely. Regardless, one thing they did have was a proper vanity.

"So do you wish you had a vanity?"
"I've always wanted one, but whenever I sit in one I want a servant"
"Excuse me?"
"In the old movies women sat down and put on lipstick while someone else brushed their hair."
"That was like a hundred years ago. You know, before penicillin."
"Well," My wife mused, "If you're going to die young anyways at least you shouldn't have to brush your own hair."

She had a point. A servant would totally change the way you lived. I wonder when the custom fell out of style? I'm sure somewhere, someone still has a butler, hand maiden or nanny but they certainly don't travel in my circle of friends. I think I can get behind the idea of having someone on hand to deal with dirty diapers, ironing shirts and making dinner. As long as they aren't in the way. I would be uncomfortable with telling someone what to do, or having them help me with every little task. I cannot imagine letting someone help me get dressed in the morning. I mean I recall the first time I came eye to eye with the chap handing out soap in the restroom of the posh hotels.

It seems not everyone has my reservations. Patricia and I have a friend who for her own health will remain nameless. She was also musing on the idea of servants too. Sorta

"I wish I had a slave."
"Excuse me? " My wife interjects, "Don't you mean a servant?"
"Right a servant," She replied. Then after a long paused added, "Wait. Do I have to pay a servant?"
"Yes." Patricia responded.
"Then no, I meant a slave."

Certainly not a very popular viewpoint, but I suppose the notion of a free a servant has it's appeal. Personally I'm holding out for some crazy engineer to design the first humanoid robot and some rich philanthropist to give them away to all the geeks. Wouldn't that be awesome? I would have no qualms having a robot do my bidding, no matter how menial. As long as he didn't rust while washing the car. Hopefully that's closer than I can imagine.

Well... A guy can wish.


themadengineer said...

If I were exceedingly wealthy, I would have servants. Butlers and things to save my time.
But I'm not, and labor is expensive, so I don't.

kludge said...


If I were exceedingly wealthy, I'd parade around nude with a dead pheasant carcass on my head and then make my servant bail me out of jail.

Different approaches, but I think we feel the same way.