Chasing Credits

I'm a gamer. I game. That is to say I engage in an expensive form of immersible fantasy for one goal. Credits. I crave a good game, enjoyable play and engaging storyline, but above all, I'm in to win. I suppose it's just my nature. I want to see it through to the end.

I have, for no other reason than completing it, spent the last 200+ hours of my gaming time on a game called Morrowind. I traipsed about the countryside, helping those in perils, righting wrongs, slaying evil and insulting uptight policemen. And most folks, besides a few policemen, thought that this imaginary world was a better place because of my interest in it. Why did I do all of this, with what other people might see as an unreal horde of perfectly good free time? Because I enjoy being belligerent to imaginary cops!? Possibly...

But there was more to it than that. I wanted the credits.

See... like a great movie, when a game is completed they congratulate you. A sort of "thanks for sticking it out" sort of thing. It allows you to feel closure. In the game, my character started out as a nobody, a nothing wuss who ran away from scary insects (not unlike myself in many respects). By the end of the game, I rid this fictional world of a crazed demon god leaching his powers from a Dwarven machine attached to a disembodied heart. It was, well, pretty impressive work if I do say so myself. I mean, am I being overly pompous to expect a little praise for that?

Well not in Morrowind. You get a 45 second ataboy, and told, "Thanks for stopping by. But honestly we got other stuff for you to look at. Don't touch the cheeseball though, it's for the real guests."

I have played dozens of games and have yet to complete one that didn't roll credits. It's like...well...like it's not over. Could you imagine a movie ending, the house lights coming up and and being like, "Well... I guess that's it." You would always wonder, was there more film that they forgot to roll? Now imagine if your movie was 200 hours long. That sort of how I'm feeling... A good game, but honestly. Did I really finish it? Should I keep wandering around killing monsters, even though there are no quests left to complete? I feel sort of empty.

I was explaining this to another guy at work, a fellow gamer (who actually used to code games for Lucas Arts) and when I told him after my epic journey there were no credits he was flabbergasted. I tell you this as an excuse to type out the word 'flabbergasted' twice in one blog post and add unnecessary quotation marks. . <--- This second period is a typo that I'm leaving alone so I can type about it. (This is quickly becoming one of my favorite posts)

Regardless... Anyone know where I can get 200 hours of a wasted year back? See, there's this new game I'm thinking about installing...

Meat Lovers Afterlife

I have seen the afterlife. It is called Espetus. In fact I was there for about and hour and a half. Additionally, considering that it was most obviously a slice of heaven the price for admission was such that anyone willing to spend a small wad of dough, could eat eight pounds of meat in relative comfort.

Seriously this place was amazing! I didn't really know what to expect, besides the fact that Leo told us, "It's all you can eat Brazilian BBQ" Leo is generally a man of few words, but those spoke mountains to me. Turns out your brain is not really capable of understanding some concepts without experiencing them. So eight of us arrived and after over an hour of eating seven of us men had to wonder how anyone in Brazil is capable of running a country if eating like this is even partially prevalent!

I have a good Brazilian friend
He likes his meals to never end
He showed us all this house of meat
Where for sixty bucks you eat and eat
And when the butcher comes to call, they say, "yes we'll take it all!"

So the drill was as such. You sat down and on the table was a wheel. The wheel was half green and half red. Green means, "bring on the meat" red means, "I Sally'ed out". Men in authentic garb paraded through the restaurant, table by table with giant skewers of meat. You had a pair of tongs for grabbing said meat as it was sliced off the skewers. To my memory, which is slightly obscured from my lingering meat headache and sever back pain this morning, there was plenty of meat. There was also a salad bar with a wide range of exciting food I'd never heard of before, much less tasted. Some very good eats! I planned to return once the meat parade slowed down. I never got my chance.

Let me see. The floats in the parade... top sirloin with garlic, sausage, giant BBQ prawns, Filet Mignon, brazed lamb, lamb chops, Parmesan pork tenderloin, some other pork cut, flank steak (my personal favorite),BBQ chicken, beef ribs, BBQ pineapple and the traditional favorite of BBQ chicken hearts. In fact I am solely responsible for the deaths of at least 13 chickens. I must say I over did it. But as I've said before, if a little's good then a lots better!

All of us did exceptional in the field of battle, and each man drew upon his courage and inner strength to get him through the engagement. One of us stood alone. While I tried my best to be that man, I had to tip my hat, if I could muster the energy to reach that high, to Matt. Who after all of us has thrown in the napkin, asked to look at the dessert menu. Matt, you sir are the champion. One day I hope to have the stamina you show!

The evening was unreal on so many levels. I weighted myself before dinner, just to see. When I returned home, I was EIGHT pounds heavier. I'm sure some of that was the five glasses of water that my body is retaining to cope with all the salt, but still...eight pounds.

Now that's what I call, getting your moneys worth!

The Bacon Assault

What other choice did I have?!


Thanks again to Mr Matt Boyd for keeping me in the loop on all the lastest bacon happenings!

Star Trek - Lost Again

** Spoiler alert **
If you haven't seen the most recent Star Trek movie, be warned, spoilers will be forthcoming.
** Spoiler alert **

Ahem. I would consider myself a pretty hardcore Star Trek fan. See below Chart

Figure 1.1



The first marker, "closet fan" cares nothing about important things like the continuity of the Star Trek universe or the simple lack of understanding that the 6th season DS9 writers showed for what we will simply call, "a good story line".

Contrariwise, the last marker, "Full Surrender" cares nothing about important things like, hygiene, friends, holding down a job or getting a drivers license.

There are many plots along this line that are not defined here. I'll leave that for another time. Regardless I exist somewhere behind "own Vulcan ears" and after "long talks". I'm totally ready to have a long conversation about plot, character or time line mishaps. For me, its just a recreation, not a religion.

I will go on record and say, "I totally enjoyed the new Star Trek movie."

That being said, it not 'really' Star Trek in my mind. A great film, and one I would like to own, but still not Star Trek.

My thing is this, why are we clean slating the original series in order to tell it again!? Give it up already! I don't care about them anymore. We have 200 years and only 3 quadrants of a galaxy explored, can't we try something new!? Why not pick a brand new crew and just venture out. New aliens, new worlds, new technologies, new stories.

Isn't that what made Star Trek so appealing? I was to me. Ordinary people solving issues with their minds. Kirk was a problem solver not a drunk. Sure he got the girl and the last punch, but his guile and cunning were the tools that saved the day. Not childish bar room brawls that involved the groping of Urhua.

Whoever wrote the Spock Uhura scenes should be shot. Seriously. I'll even offer my services if you come up short. I doubt you will.

Oh, and just another thing...Didn't we (the Federation) discover the Romulans in the second season of ST-TOS? So how does this new Uhura happen to speak the language, with multiple dialects?

Holes, holes holes. What happened to our Vulans? I guess beings that don't cry or scream aren't cool anymore. Too bad. I liked Roddenberry's vision of the cool headed logical race the way it was.

Don't even get me started on Sulu. Though in all honestly, I could do with a sword like that.

Sigh.. the truth is, there is just too much wrong to go into here. So I won't. Anyway, as I said. I liked the movie, but please, lets not call it Star Trek, okay? I prefer, "Lost Again" Or "Rick Berman is a Moron". Whichever you want, though I'm leaning towards the latter.

Giving Blood

I gave blood on Saturday. It's a easy thing for me and therefore I like to do it. It's not easy for everyone and those that are afraid of needles need not apply. We all have our fears. If I had to give blood in a butterfly tent or via a bee sting, I would never do it. All that just to say, I'm not a afraid of needles, so giving blood is only about finding the free time.

Anyway... After the tech explains to me that she cannot find a vein larger than a silk thread and that she will have to use the teeny tiny needle on my feminine vascular system she begins.

"Ah.." She says, after the needle is in and the juice is flowing

"What's wrong?"

"Well... there might be a bit of a bruise."

Shrug "No biggie"

Well... I guess I wasn't aware of what "A bit of a bruise really entailed". I look like an addict. I mean I've got this fist sized bruise on my arm. Seriously. It's like yellow and purple and black and blue. It doesn't hurt much, but I doubt it will go away anytime soon. In fact when the pizza guy came that night, I was too embarrassed to answer the door, for fear he might think I got a case of the munchies. Why am I telling you all this? I'm not sure. Let try and wrap this up...

Ahem...

Give blood, but only it you want to be insulted, and mutilated in the name of 'doing good'!

The End Of Days

The end of the day is the best part
Is it odd that we feel that way?
While much of it gone from the daybreak
There's still truth in what I do say

Gone to meetings with managers droning
Their deadlines and pie charts galore
While no one is listening or caring
All they hear is "We want some more!"

Gone to users who stand in my door frame
With issues that "Must be solved fast!"
Foreheads wrinkled without comprehension
When I tell them, "On my list, you're last."

Gone to phone calls from vendors and salesmen
Pitching their products with glee
Though I tell I'm not in the market
It seems no one will listen to me

So when over my days just beginning
because that's when my freedom comes through
While the evening is shorter and fleeting
It's the best from my humble point of view

Peter P. Brown 2009

Quizes 2.0

Some Mindless Quizes! For fun

What would you taste like to a cannibal?
Not a gourmet meal, but certainly tasty enough to eat!



How long could you survive trapped inside your kitchen freezer?
This seems promising



How worldly are your tastes?
Turns out I've still got more to experience!


The Caffeine Click Test - How Caffeinated Are You?
A Vibrating Crackhead? No news there.



Let me know how you fare.

Control

The sad looking man in the minivan drove by me with all his windows down blaring his hard rock music. I smiled as I pulled the mail from my post box. The smile was as if to say,

"I know you want the world to think you're in control of your life, but we all know the truth. The truth is you were sent out to the store by your wife after low fat milk, goldfish crackers and a variety pack of mixed fruit cups for your howling two year old. You were stuck in line for fifteen minutes because some elderly woman decided to sort through her four thousand two hundred and seven coupons in the line in front of you. The cashier doesn't care. He's still has to work an eight hour shift, regardless how long each customer takes. During that time you ignored two phone calls from home. You imagine the rather unpleasant voice mails you will have to delete later.

Once you got into your car you were struck with the fact that your bag was rather lacking of mixed fruit cups. So in a vein effort to regain the control over your life that you once believed you had, you turned on your loud rock and drove with your windows down. You didn't care what was playing, as long as it was loud. In addition you needed me/us/your neighbors to see all the control you had. Because you knew as soon as you and your fruitcupless bag walked over that threshold, you would be powerless."

Yeah, it said all that. Trust me. I understand. Good luck, and next time you're trying to look like a confident single man, I would suggest ditching the cherry red minivan with the "Spoiled Princess" bumper sticker.

Chipjacking

Sometimes you just get that carbohydrates craving!