Sticky Buns

There are a few phrases in the English language that are funny with out any context. 'Sticky buns' is one of those. There are jokes that need a lot of setup to be funny. You have to sit everyone down, spin this elaborate yarn and only then, once the pump is primed will the laughter flow.

Not so with Sticky Buns. I would wager that I could walk into any room in the English speaking world, shout 'STICKY BUNS', run out and someone would start laughing. With the possible exception being mini-mart night hours attendees this is a gimme! But what are the odds an entire room would be filled with them?

Really, that would be kinda odd. It's not like there is a society for mini-mart night hours attendees. So unless there was some kind of Twinkie trade show I think my sticky bun experiment would still be viable.

Mini-mart night hours attendees are, in my opinion, required to get a frontal lobotomy in order to sign up for the job. I can not remember the last time I walked into a convenience store at night to anything other than a sigh.

"sigh..."

"I'm sorry, did I interrupt you starting off down the chewing gum isle?"

"sigh..."

"STICKY BUNS!"

"Over there. By the HoHo's"

And with a disinterested wave of the hand they go back to propping up their head with their fists.

I suppose it hard to get excited about selling ten dollar cans of tuna to desperate people in their pajamas, but you would think they could pretend to care.

Now that I say that, I don't like the fakers either. (Apparently it takes a lot to truly make me happy.) Generally these faker people are managers. They believe that by pretending to be cheery, it will in someway inspire others. There is a certain person at a certain mini-mart that drives me nuts.

"Is that all?!?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Okay. Have a sparkling day!"

What? Have a sparkling day? Did I just get dunked in a vat of pink glittering insincerity? AHH...It's all over me! Hanging on like some vile yet cutesy sludge. I feel like a preschooler begging for a gold star.

"uhmm... Okay. Thanks...STICKY BUNS!"

So regardless of the bizarre path this post ended up on, the truth remains. Some things are just funny naturally, and some things are better left unsaid. I'll let you be the judge of which items go in which slots.