Who is following me?

I seem to have a line of folks behind me now...I best think up something funny to say.

Don't fret. I got some geekdom in the works. :)

Meh

Think I'm bored of the Luke Skywalker idea. It was fun, but not as fun as I hoped...

Now what?

Anything you guys want to see more of?

Secret Diary of Luke Skywalker Pt.3

Dear Diary:
Apparently Bothans are like sheep people. It's kinda hard to feel bad about sheep people dying...

Secret Diary of Luke Skywalker Pt.2

Dear Diary:
That crazy snow monster came out of nowhere. He completely blindsided me. What's the freaking point of having Jedi reflexes if a giant tusked, snarling snow monster can catch me unaware. I should have been able to smell him at least two hundred yards away. I'm wondering if I'm ever going to become a Jedi. It's really hard to write hanging upside down...

Dear Diary:
I'm freezing! Looking back, I think it would have been smarter to kill the snow monster and I stay in his warm cave. Hello! I'm the one with the glowing kill stick! Stupid Luke, really stupid. I saw the old hermit in my hallucinations again. He didn't seem to care I was dying. I think my brain is trying to kill me. It's really hard to write with Tauntaun guts all over me...

Dear Diary:
The Hot chick kissed me. I think we've really got something.

Dear Diary:
I can't believe I got stuck with Dax as my navigator. Hello! Aren't I the hero of the republic? The destroyer of the the Death Star? This guy wouldn't know a tow cable control if it got in bed with him!! Oh, right. I should say, if it had gotten in bed with him. Luckily after I crashed, right before the walker smashed him and the ship to bits, I got my lucky grappler out of harms way.

Dear Diary:
So my hallucinations sent me to Dagobah. A slimy rotten snake pit. My ship is stuck in the swamp, R2 is covering muck and a stupid old frog just stole my lamp and licked my last protein stick. Yea. Thanks Ben, I didn't know how much you hated me...

Dear Diary:
So, the withered old frog man I insulted turns out to be the Jedi master I was suppose to find. He was more than a little put out with me. What are the chances....

Dear Diary:
"There is no why." What the hell is that suppose to mean? Talking backwards makes you wise? Stupid frog. "Never his mind on where he was, what he was doing.." Whatever. Just what I need more of in my life, an eight hundred year old pontificating reptile backpack! I found a viper in my bed roll last night. Seriously creepy. Thanks again Ben!

Dear Diary:
The Righteous Jedi Frog refused to teach me Darth Vaders choke trick. Some virtuous dribble about the path to the Dark Side or something. Like floating rocks are going to be a big help to me in the middle of a battle. It's hard to write when you're pouting.

Dear Diary:
Ben and Yoda say not to leave Dagobah and save my friends. They claimed to have over eight hundred years of experience in the ways Force and the fact that I've only been at this for a couple of weeks or so. I bet he's regretting he didn't teach me that choke trick now...

Dear Diary:
So... Ben and Yoda might have known what they were talking about. Turns out I wasn't much help. Han is table top on his way to Tatoonie, C3PO hasn't shut up about the fact that he's in pieces and Dog boy tried to strangle Lano. Good Times. Oh right. And diary, funny thing happened while I was trying to kill Vader. Turns out he's my long lost father. Seriously. It was a less than happy reunion. He cut off my hand and then asked me to join him. "Oh yeah, well I wasn't till you mangled my appendage, but now I'm totally convinced!!" What a day. At least I've got Leia, and we seem to have a real good thing going.

Secret Diary of Luke Skywalker Pt.1

Dear Diary:
Uncle Owen is a Correllian piss ant! Seriously, this is the last straw! If he pulls that "one more season" crap on me again I'm going to flip out. Big help Anut Beru is... Biggs and the other guys all have power converters for their landspeeders. I'm sick and tired of moisture vaporators. Oh diary...I wish Uncle Owen would just drop over dead.

Dear Diary:
So I'm stuck talking to the stupid protocol droid all day. Like I care how many stinking Jawas can fit inside a sandcrawler. I'm this close to blasting his head off "I'm C3PO and I've been aboard an rebel cruiser for the past 20 years but I can't tell you one thing interesting about about it! But If you want to know the statistical improbability of finding a driod in the desert I can spit that out in a second!!" If I ever find out what slug rat build this wreck I'd give him what for...maybe with the business end of my rifle.

Dear Diary:
We just met a broken down old hermit. R2 showed him a picture of a hot chick, he gave me a light up stick and tried to convert me to his crazy religion. I like him.

Dear Diary:
Remember when I said Uncle Owen was a Correllian piss ant? Turns out the StormTroppers thought so too. I put on a good show for the hermit man, and now we're on on our way to Anchorhead. Maybe I'll get to use my light stick...

Dear Diary:
In only a hour or two, I've completely changed my outlook on the world. I'm now a crazed zealot in a new religious order. It's amazing how persuasive an old man can be. I hope he didn't use that mind trick on me. Naw...

Dear Diary:
We met a smug talking smuggler and walking dog man. I'm already acting rude and superior to him about my newfound faith. Ben seems pleased by my progress. I hope we don't have to swear celibacy or any crazy thing like that...

Dear Diary:
I don't have a lot of time and much has happened. Long story short, Han, Dog boy and I found the hot chick. Ben was killed, and Robot man got his light stick. I was so mad I started screaming and almost blew our get away. Luckily I started to hallucinate and we escaped. Too bad about the Hermit man, I really wanted his light stick...

Dear Diary:
I feel bad for Dog boy, everyone just pretends to understand him. I'd want to rip peoples arms out if they all ignored me too. One thing about Wookies I have learned, you never want to use the restroom right after them. I still smell horrible. Han can't stop laughing and suggested I incinerate my clothes... I'm hoping the Stormtroopers come after him next.

Dear Diary:
I'm feeling a little guilty for lying to Wedge. I have no idea what a womp rat is and just said it to get attention. Hopefully he doesn't go up in a flaming ball of fire like Uncle Owen. I might just start running out of friends.

Dear Diary:
We won. Thanks to my hallucinations I made a lucky shot that blew up the sphere ship. I saved the day only after most of my comrades died horrific meaningless deaths. You've never heard so much screaming. Thankfully there seems to be a lot more people than ships here on the rebel base and no one seems too upset about the casualties. All in all a pretty good couple of days. I think I'm going to like this new life...

I Resolve...

Welcome to 2011.

I hereby resolve to be less stupid.

Yep, that about covers it.

White Board Cleaner Fumes

I can't solve it... even after I used the white board cleaner and got crazy high off the fumes. Nothing. No idea. Look it's almost quitting time. I hope my head clears by then!!

"No officer, just white board cleaner..."

Random Typing In December

Yet Another Random Typing Post. I'm just going to let whatever thought pops into my head out for all the world to see. This is glimpse into my brain, or a warning not to read on. Whichever you prefer. Only spell check beyond this point.

I like corn chips. Though I'm not sure what to do with all the dust you accumulate on your fingers when eating them. Seriously, are you suppose to pretend it's not there? Or do you wipe your hand after every chip. I suppose you could lick it off. The 'lick it off' method is okay if it's not a community container but I wouldn't want to share a bowl of chips with a finger licker.

That's a funny name. Finger licker, bet the TSA would pull you over and pat you down if you had that on your ticket. "Johnny 'Finger Licker' Jones".

"Step out of line. Put your hands where I can see them."
"Is there a problem"
"Yea backup, I'm going to need a moist towelette or two."

Moist towelette. A interesting item as well. Are they the base that other products such as wet wipes and counter cleaners stem from? What's with that odor? Is that suppose to be appealing to you?

"Is that a new scent you're wearing Susan?"
"Moist towelette."
"Were did you get it?!"
"At the Coco Channel store. $400 a bottle."

Once the fashion industry gets a hold of something, no matter how stupid, its an instant hit with the super rich. They are a fickle bunch down in Smogland. I think they just like an exuse to spend money.

"Stop everything. The moist towelette is out! We've just discovered corn chip dust! It's all the rage. It moisturizes and covers wrinkles!"

Wow. Back to corn chips. I must be hungry. I suppose I could just dust it off on my pants, but that seems odd too. Oh well. I suppose it's just one of life's little mystery's.

(licking fingers...)

The Three Hour Meeting

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful pitch,
That started about lunchtime and caused my eyes to twitch.

The lead was a smarmy sellin' man, Who'd never take a breath
Of the five that sat down in there, only two of us are left. Only two of us are left

The powerpoint show was out of hand, at one hundred ten slides plus
If not for the bastion of my Blackberry, my mi-nd would be mush. My mi-nd would be mush.

The meet-ing ended thankfully an hour over-due, with shaking hands, and "thank you" lies. The projector dead and laptop drained. And ne-ver again, will we go back to....a meeting with Microsoft's rep."

TRON Legacy Prayer

I offer only what I can. A simple prayer for the upcoming TRON Legacy....



Oh please, please, please. Don't suck.