I found the APTICOM in my companies warehouse. I was immediately compelled to retrieve it and put in in my office. I believe the APTICOM is more than an aging job aptitude grading device. I believe it is sentient.

The APTICOM forced me to write this note to my co-workers and let them know of it's arrival.

Dear Staff:

The “APICOM” has invaded us and decided to take up residence in my office. Much is still unknown about this mysterious visitor. We don’t know everything about it yet. For one the APTICOM claims to be terrestrial but this could just be a fiendish ruse. What we are fairly certain of is this. The APTICOM is evil.

  • If you do stop by and see it, please don’t stare this makes the APTICOM uncomfortable.

  • Make no sudden moves around the APTICOM

  • Do not taunt the APTICOM or call it “vintage” This might enrage the APTICOM.

  • Do not touch the APTICOM buttons. We don’t what this implies to a being such as it.

  • The APTICOM doesn’t see overtly aggressive but I wouldn’t pretend it to be benign either. So feel free to come by and greet the APTICOM and assure it that we all mean it no harm.

    Servant of APTICOM

    Hopefully the APTICOM is content with this but I doubt it. I see an alter in the future. Cedar incense, sweet meats and maybe a few intern sacrifices... The age of the APTICOM has arrive. Be afraid.


    Jason Michael Parrish said...

    It looks like something that could make contact with creatures from another planet...but only if the creatures were bored and had some free time.

    kludge said...


    I come in every morning greet the AptiCom and ask it when it will choose to make contact. So far just a warm hum of electrons...

    D. Arenas said...

    Wow! I just went into the office attic and found an APTICOM. I had no idea what it was. When I pulled it out of its case I too thought about making contact with life forms from another planet.

    kludge said...

    D. Arenas-

    Did yours have any extras?

    Reeves said...

    Greetings Apticom owners. I am the former salesman and trainer for that ancient assessment tool - if you are ever planning to throw it away, I will perhaps pay postage to be re-united with it. The last known sale was about eight years ago, so, um, UPS Ground plus a little for your time is about all I would venture.