Today is talk like a pirate day. The one day every year when it is Okay to drink rum in copious amounts and slit as many throats as you please!
"What are you doing son!"
"It's talk like a pirate day officer!"
"Oh, well carry on then"
First you have to learn how to talk like a pirate!
Now that ye know how t' talk like a gentleman o' fortune go ou' an' woo some lasses, drink some mead an' live 't up. On accoun' o' once 'tis low tide, ye be havin' t' go aft t' bein' a civilized swabbie next high tide'.
Now get your Pirate Name I'm "Fishbait Van Horne"
Still not getting it?
Try this Pirate Translator
Past Pirate Post:
Hoisting The Jolly Roger
Now go out and live like today is your last and tomorrow someone might swing down from the mainsail and blow a blunderbuss in your ugly mug!