Would You Ranch This?

Well I was sitting here thinking... Never a good plan, but regardless. I was sitting here thinking, ranch dressing is amazing! Ranch is basically the new ketchup (or catsup. Not that I understand why it has two spellings... maybe we'll tackle that another day.)

Anyway I began wondering what I would feel strange putting ranch on, and what I wouldn't even think about. So here is a little game called, "Would You Ranch This?"

Scenario number one. Pizza. Not bad pizza either. Anyone can put ranch on pizza to make up for bad ingredients, doughy crust or greasy aftertaste. No this is perfectly good pizza, maybe even your favorite. Would you? Absolutely! No question!

Scenario number two. This is either a burrito, a white Twinke with enchilada sauce or the best ranch conduit you've yet to try. I would submit, that here on the Internet...It's all three! Ranch it? Yes. Next!

Okay... here's a new one. I've never put ranch on chili. Would I? I tried to think of a plausible scenario (I'm trying desperately to use the word "scenario" seven times... We shall see...) I was like "How bout on fruit?" No. I don't think anyone would buy that scenario... So Chili? Yea. I'd try it.

So your plane crashes on the way to Hawaii and you and your friend are all that's left from the disaster. Whoever dies first says "eat me." Regardless of the ethical dilemma the question remains..."Would you put ranch on it?"

This one was a no brainier...literally. "Friends don't let friends eat their rotting corpses without ranch dressing!" I mean what kind of a host, or guest for that matter would you be. Clearly this is also a good case for bringing the ranch in the carry on luggage and not checking it.

Thoughts? Anyone? Are you still here...


Tony said...

Ketchup so does not have two spellings!

kludge said...


HA! I never understood why such a gross perversion of the wood ketchup became so commonplace, but it is.

Many folks wouldn't know what ketchup was! :)

Becky said...

This blog is about the divine food of the gods, RANCH dressing, not catsup/ketchup. Focus people, focus.

kludge said...


Right! Keep us on track. Did you know you can buy ranch dressing in vats from CostCo? I like to keep it around for swimming in on hot days.

Jason Michael Parrish said...

Ranch dressing should never be put on good pizza. Never, never, never! It's bad taste and stunts growth. It also kills puppies and old people.

Bleu cheese dressing on the other hand goes with anything except fruit and oatmeal. It also kills bacteria better than penicillin.

Makolyte said...

Ranch on the side for the crust

kludge said...


"It's bad taste and stunts growth. It also kills puppies and old people."


They should but that on the label!

kludge said...


No Doubt!