20 Things I Learned From Training

  • There are two types of training, bad training and needed training. I've never witnessed good training

  • Training instructors are rarely the cream of the crop

  • When in training it's considered polite not to fall asleep

  • This is sometimes unavoidable

  • Training instructor jokes, laughing only encourages more. AKA Don't feed the bears

  • Trainers who know anything are few and far between. Don't bet that yours will.

  • Training input survey. The, 'Will I ever see this trainer again?' gamble.

  • There is always one person who will never get

  • To quote a movie, "The cows could program the VCR by now!"

  • This boob is also the most vocal. Please put your hand down...

  • They are also the best source of material typo's. How many days is this again?

  • Pick your lab partners carefully. Four days with "Ned the Halitosis Factory" is far from bearable.

  • Lab exercises...A simple game of follow the directions, and snicker at your frustrated neighbors

  • Bored yet? If you didn't bring your blackberry, you could always count ceiling tiles. See #3

  • Smokers have a training advantage... Time for another break

  • The best part of training is travel

  • How do I make three beers look like a legitimate dinner receipt?

  • The my favorite words uttered in training, "looks like we'll be finished early."

  • Online training, all the pain and none of the benefits. AKA the mangers favorite training.

  • All things being equal, even bad day training is better than good day working.
  • 3 comments:

    Tony said...

    I understood the context from your text, but the topic left me wondering and then I couldn't stop comparing your list to the different kinds of training I had time to think up while the page loaded. Physical training? Martial arts training? Military training? On the job training? College courses? Some of these apply to different kinds of training equally well, others, not so much. (For example, "good training" in the military is any time you are cold, wet, tired and hungry. I have thus witnessed good training. It is not a pretty sight. :P )

    Anyways. I just thought you might find that interesting. Me, I'm going to go eat apple pie now. :)

    kludge said...

    "For example, "good training" in the military is any time you are cold, wet, tired and hungry. I have thus witnessed good training. It is not a pretty sight. :P"

    Sweet Mercy! I thought technical/computer training was rough... I'll have more trouble complaining in the future.

    Tony said...

    Oh? As a former conscript I have no trouble whatsoever about complaining about my current job. :) At least in the military, under the right kind of circumstances, you could do fun things to your customers. (Military police term for person being detained.) Like strike them with a baton, or bayonet them, or shoot them. Try doing that in tech support and your boss will complain about it immediately! Sheesh... And how are the rest of the end users supposed to learn then, I ask you.

    Complaining is a skill. You just have to find the right angle. ;)