It's amazing to me sometimes what can spark an idea. Creativity will sometimes come from the most obscure places. The reality is that many of my best ideas come to me while I think about something else entirely. I'm sure many of you are the same.
Example. I'm driving down the road the other day, stuck in an unbelievable traffic jam. This traffic jam was caused by one hundred and twenty four thousand of my neighbors. Why were we stopped on the southbound freeway for four miles with zero off ramps? Corn. That's right. The FREAKING CORN WATCHERS!
We have a corn maze that gets planted every year around the end of July. It's quite popular, and I will admit, enjoyable to try and navigate through. I have put my wits to the corn maze several times and I can say that I always find my way out without cheating. My best time is somewhere around twenty-five minutes. That being said, I have zero desire to slow down traffic to a stand still to look at the corn! IT'S JUST CORN! I have put this to many people in my area and they all agree with me.
"What's up with that!"
"I hate that."
"Can you believe it!"
This is where my real trouble begins. I mean, if there were say seven hundred cars passing by in an hour, many of them had to feel the same way as my friends claim to. If that's true, why did the jam continue? Why didn't it clear up once those who waited finally got to the corn field? I mean, if 10 out of 10 people that I talked to hate it... shouldn't that statistic carry through with others in my community?
The truth is simple. No one admits to being a corn watcher, but someone I know, in fact many someones I know must be. There is no way that the freeway can grind to a halt if everyone hates it and no one slows to look at corn. The test is simple enough, DON'T SLOW FOR THE FREAKING CORN!
When it's my turn, I always do the same thing. I ride the bumper of the car in front of me, and then simply look in my rear view after passing the corn. There are like SEVEN car lengths behind me! SEVEN! This idiot is staring at a field off three foot high CORN!! The worst part is HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT! He will later complain to his pals that he was stuck in traffic for twenty five minutes because people were slowing down to look at the corn. WHEN HE WAS DOING THE EXACT SAME THING!
STUPID CORN WATCHIN-
(holds breath till brain gives in an relaxes)
Anyway. Shortly after the ire wore off and I got my truck up to a roaring forty-seven miles per hour speed. I had an idea. A really awesome idea.
Laser corn stalks. Sight activated deadly force laser corn stalks. If you look you die. Simple and effective, no?
And not just the driver either. That wouldn't do. We would just have a bunch of cars clogging up the interstate. No.. I was thinking complete car vaporization. This would accomplish two things. First it would slake my burning blood lust directed at the CORN WATCHERS, and it would allow us to put up cool warning signs:
In addition the seven of us left would be able to get to Petaluma Ca. in a semi reasonable time frame. All in all a darn good idea!