Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Club Faragaran

Come to lovely Club Faragaran! The tree lodge with the all the comforts ground lovers crave.

Club Faragaran has all the amenities for those of you looking for a relaxing stay in a tree top paradise. While staying with us 200 feet above the boulder littered forest floor, we always have your safety in mind. That is why we are nearly halfway done installing a surrounding guard rail along our tree top platforms. The only two areas left to be done are our tennis courts and the children's play structure.

At Club Faragaran we know that not everyone is comfortable with the beautiful and spacious views of the Faragaran Mountains as viewed from the tops of the towering timbers. To help with the initial adjustment period, we have our patented 'dangle time' orientation. We are currently the only tree top resort that offer this special introduction that allows you to make both an altitude and attitude adjustment.

During this innovative session, you will be hitched to a seatbelt and thrown over the side of the platform. Here you will remain until your screams for help turn into cries of joy. Anyone wishing to go back for a second session is more than welcome, and encouraged if they seem unhappy during any of their stay at Club Faragaran!

Club Faragaran, has something for everyone. We have tennis courts, basketball, extensive rope course, a swimming pool, and even a sauna carved from the trunk of a 1000 year old tree. The environmentalists sure gave us a hassle over that one! Though honestly, we ask you, What good is a thousand year old tree if you can't have a sauna?

Up until last year we even had a small horseback riding arena, but it seems that some weaken timbers and poor horse handling spoiled a few guests afternoon. We are looking into purchasing some more horses, after wrongful death lawsuits have been resolved, and the sky platform has been sufficiently repaired.

We have a great central fire pit for singing, roasting marshmallows or just relaxing with the family. The pit is now closely maintained by a crew member after the great pit fire of '05 almost burned Club Faragaran the ground. Luckily for us, most of the guest who were fuel for that fire fell off the platform before catching too much of the old growth on fire. Consequently the new railing project started in the fall of that same year. This of course means we might not be as lucky next time to save our trees from fire damage. As such we've installed a number of extinguishers in and around the fire pit.

So if you are looking for a place to spend your next vacation look no further than Club Faragaran. The relaxing and peaceful getaway island in the sky!

6 comments:

Missy said...

I love being the first to comment! It's like I win something.

Good to know your demented sense of humor is still there.

lifeofando said...

Is this resort located on the Wookie planet of Kashyyyk?

kludge said...

Missy-

I can almost always bet the first comment will be you or Jason! I always like seeing it.

Alive and Kickin'!

kludge said...

Ando-

I sort of see Wookies up there!

Jason said...

It's like Lothlorien, but not quite.

kludge said...

Jason-

If elves ever went corporate!